


Save me?

by Misti1987



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Angst, Apart, Bi-Polar, Friendship, Jail, Love, M/M, Save Me, finding out way back, institution
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-23
Updated: 2016-09-27
Packaged: 2018-05-22 18:26:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 43,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6089998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Misti1987/pseuds/Misti1987
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mickey can't breathe when his sister tells him that his former boyfriend has been sent back to the mental hospital and is on suicide watch. What is he hearing? Why? Why would he go off his meds like that, why would he spiral. Can Mickey handle the truth if had a lot more to do with him that he thinks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. He Hates Me

**Author's Note:**

> first fanfic in a long long time, and first ever for these amazing boys that I have become so obsessed with. So here goes nothing. Hope you like.

Save me?    Chapter One:

Mickey sat across from his sister with the prison glass in between them, trying to hold up the phone to his ear as she spoke. He felt like he was going to faint, or scream or hit the glass and watch it shatter. The words kept repeating in his head, _Ian is in the hospital. Ian is on suicide watch._

“Mick!” she yelled to get his attention.

“He…He actually tried…I thought he was taking his...” His voice trailed off, unable to finish his thoughts, let alone the sentences he was trying to string together.

“I know, He said he was for a long time, something happened, I don’t know Mick, he looks so weak and broken.” She hung her head low. The buzzer sounded letting him know to wrap up the conversation, that was really one-sided. He ran his hands through his hair.

“God, I wish I wasn’t in this fucking place, not like he’d care, he fucking…Ugh, just keep an eye on him okay.” He sighed. There was no way he could go to him, even if Ian refused to see him, which judging by their last conversation, he probably would but it didn’t matter, he was stuck in this place with no contact. She nodded at him as he went to hang up the phone.

“Wait, one more thing, I gave the guard the number to his room, I don’t know if you want to, but you know, maybe hearing from you will lift his spirits, he misses you, Mick.” She said before getting up.

 _He misses you._ Yeah right. He didn’t give a damn.

 

\------

 

Ian sat in his room looking around, he had truly forgotten how alone he felt in this place, the last few weeks hadn’t been too bad, he had been numbed by the medications they were putting him on, and he had been depressed but empty, now that they were starting to even out, it was even worse. How was that possible? How could a person feel more depressed than before?

Guilt, that’s how. When he was numb on his meds, he didn’t feel the weight of his life. He didn’t feel how much he missed his former lover and friend. It was hard to tell which part of Mickey he missed more, the boyfriend, or the friend. The Mickey who protected him and loved him, the Mickey it had taken so long to finally see and once he did, he just ripped it all to shreds. He said he didn’t want Mickey to fix him, and that was true, but he did want him to save him from himself right now.

The night it all went down, the night he got hospitalized, he had absentmindedly called Mickey’s phone, only to remember that he wasn’t anywhere he could find him, he remembered that earlier that week he had tried to visit Mickey in prison but found he was no longer on the approved visitor's list. It was then that he realized, how much he had royally fucked up. Mickey no longer wanted to see him, he no longer wanted him and Ian had only one person to blame for that. That night he had been off of his meds for a few days, and it all went from there. The guilt, the memories, the everything, it all spiraled out, like a bad acid trip, then there were the drugs, the countless drugs that he had taken, not one of them being the drugs he should have been taking. By the end of the night, he couldn’t remember anything, he felt fine, and on an extreme high like no other until the words that played through his head. A promise he had made to Mickey, a long, long time ago, and he dialed Mandy’s number.

\----

Mandy sat outside the waiting room waiting for them to let her in to see Ian, she was still so worried that she would walk in there and he would be worse, she wanted to be able to see her brother later and tell him, that it was fine, that Ian was getting better and they would get him through this. She somehow thought that if she could somehow believe that, it would all be better, Ian would get better and everything would be fine, they would sit around and catch up and then they would go see Mickey and everything would go back. She knew better, though. Mickey was locked up for the next 14 plus years, and Ian was locked up in a different kind of way for an undetermined amount of time.

She sighed as she finally could get up to walk into the room. She felt her breath hitch as she saw Ian laying on his side away from her much like he was when she had first arrived earlier in the week. Then she had just been thankful that she had gotten ahold of Lip and Fiona in time to get to him, now she was terrified that he would be in the same state he had been then.  
She froze as she watched him turn over and look at the door. He smiled lightly but distantly. “Hey, Mands.” He spoke and she smiled lightly. She felt herself breathe again as she made her way to sit beside him. She could tell he was hesitating to ask her something, so as to not torture him further she spoke.

“He’s okay Ian. Not fantastic, but okay.” She said lightly touching his face as he nodded. He looked down for a minute before speaking.

“He hates me, and I deserve it.” She looked at him confused.

“Hates you? Ian Gallagher, where did you get a fucked up idea like that?” she practically shrieked. “H…He…Refused….to…” she could see the tears welling up in his eyes. “I deserve it when he wanted…to…see me…I was…I was…horrible.” He shook as he spoke.

She was afraid of the answer to the question, she was about to ask. “Did you…Did this all start because of Mickey?” she asked eyeing him. He didn’t answer but she knew. Had Mickey really refused to see him, why didn’t she know about it? “Are you sure, he refused to see you? Maybe he was in the hole or some shit?” she asked.

“N...No, they said, I was no longer on the list. On any of the lists.” He sighed. Any? What the hell was that supposed to mean, how many freaking lists?

“Well maybe it was a mistake, Ian, when I talked to him, told him about you, he seemed worried.”

“Of course, he’s worried, doesn’t mean he doesn’t hate me.” He turned back over as to say, the conversation was over and he was done for the day.

Mandy got up and looked back at Ian. “He doesn’t hate you, Ian, maybe he’s a little mad at you, but when has that ever stopped the two of you before.” And she walked out after that.

\------

 

Mickey sat looking down. A few of the letters from his tattoo peeking out at him. Taunting him. He was tired and worn down. Ian was in the hospital, Ian was sick again, Ian tried to kill himself. He could bearly breathe. When the guard came by to tell him it was time to go see his visitor, he almost didn’t hear him. “Yeah, I'm going.” He walked out to see his sister looking up at him with a distant look of despair in her eyes. He almost turned around and went back, not wanting to hear what she had to say. Would she say that Ian was worse? Would she say he was fine, and he still didn’t want anything to do with Mickey? The truth was maybe those things would be better than what he was about to hear. “well princess, I ain't got all day. How is he?” she sighed looking up at him.

“Did…Did you actually take him off your visitor's list?” she asked bearly above a whisper. “No…why would I…” then he froze. He hadn’t, had he? Then the realization hit him, that day, that day that Ian had left after, false promising he would wait for Mickey, the look in his eyes that almost killed Mickey, the looked that caused him to go up to the guard later and tell him to take the fucker off of his list. “Fuck!” he screamed, the guard stepped to him but he waved him off.

“No…why would I…” then he froze. He hadn’t, had he? Then the realization hit him, that day, that day that Ian had left after, false promising he would wait for Mickey, the look in his eyes that almost killed Mickey, the looked that caused him to go up to the guard later and tell him to take the fucker off of his list. “Fuck!” he screamed, the guard stepped to him but he waved him off.

  
He bowed his head but then looked up suddenly. “How would you know that though? Did you check up on me?” he eyed his sister, refusing to admit to himself the real reason she would have known. Ian told her, and he would only know if he had tried to come and see him if he had willingly tried to come and see him and then been refused. “He tried to come and see me?” he asked as she nodded.

“He told me that you hated him and he deserves it.” No, he thinks.

“Please tell me there is another reason why he did this Mandy!? He didn’t do this because I wouldn’t see him, he didn’t go off his meds and go all crazy because of me!!!!!",  He screamed. He couldn’t even look at his sister, he slammed the phone down and motioned to the guard to come and get him.

Later he was in the yard, trying to concentrate on everything that brought him to this moment. If he hadn’t of gotten locked up for trying to kill that psycho bitch, he would have been able to prevent this, he would have gotten mad at Ian and told him to go away, and Ian would have come back and he would have been able to tell him that he didn’t mean it. But now, what was he supposed to do? His thoughts were brought back to Mandy’s first visit. _“I gave the guard the number.”_ She had said then. He hadn’t really thought about it much since then. Which guard was there that day? He hadn’t even asked him about it. Was it because Ian was on his no-contact list? Fuck.

 

\----

Ian was staring at the wall. Not much else to do in this place. Everyone had visited today; he was done with people. He didn’t want to hear from or see one more of them. They were driving him insane. It had taken so long for him to get them to back off on the meds and the constant babying him, he knew once he was released it would be worse. He had no idea when that would be, he was officially off of suicide watch but that didn’t mean he was busting out anytime soon. The only good thing about being in here was that visiting hours ended and they all had to get away from him for a while. The phone rang and he sighed. He almost didn’t pick it up. He slowly picked up the receiver, hearing an automated message he hadn’t expected. “Yes, Yes, I accept the fucking charges.” He said through the receiver. Then he heard it. “Hey.” It was simple, but it was amazing.

“Mick?” he asked.


	2. Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian and Mickey talk on the phone for the next few weeks.

Chapter 2

When the nurse entered Ian's room that morning, she almost was pleasantly shocked to find that instead of being curled up in a ball on his side, or even crying out in his sleep, he was not only awake but looking at the door brightly at her. “Good morning.” He smiled at her. “Well hello, Mr. Gallagher, you look like your having a much better morning. That mess finally starting to even out a little?” She asked brightly. He shrugged. “I am feeling a little better.” He spoke.

 

Mickey replayed his conversation in his head. Hearing Ian's voice on the phone had been nerve-racking. He didn't know what he would say if he would hang up on him or even take the call at all. He didn't know how to express his feelings in the short amount of time he had but he found a way to speak and Ian didn't hang up on him. Instead, he sounded shocked but happy. He had wanted to ask why, but he didn't. Instead, he kept the conversation lights after all it had been the first time they had spoken in months. He did ask how he was, if he was feeling alright and how everything had been with him and everyone else. He didn't have to say much else, Once Ian started talking, he just talked for a while. Issuing out a couple of apologies for acting the way he had at their last meeting.

Before he knew it, he was being ushered off the phone by the guards. It was a short and simple conversation but it was better than the last time and it made him feel a little better for some reason. He had promised to try and call again in a few days, it was already torture. If he was out of this place, he would be there with him. But he couldn't be and he couldn't be for the next 14 in a half years.

 

Mandy walked into Ian's hospital room a few days later warily but instead of what she expected, Ian was energetic. He was on the floor doing push-ups. “What the?” She spoke out of shock. “Mandy!” He jumped up and came to give her a hug. “I'll repeat myself. What the?” She said hugging him back. “Did you hide your meds under the pillow?” She asked. He laughed, a real laugh. “No Mandy, I'm not manic. I just feel good.” He smiled completely. It had been a long time since she had seen him beaming like this. “They give you a release date or something?” She asked. He shook his head. “Nope, I get evaluated again tomorrow.” He shrugged as he made his way over to his bed. “What happened then? I get your evening out, but this is you excited.” She laughed. He shrugged again.

She stayed for a while listening to whatever he talked about, he was happy and she tried a few more times to find out why but by the time she left he was still tight-lipped.

 

Mickey rolled his eyes at the guy next to him, spouting some lovey shit to his girl on the phone as he dialed the number. The voice on the other end made him almost as giddy as the lovesick fool next to him. “Hey firecrotch, how's the padded room?” He asked trying not to get too serious. Ian laughed, that laugh sent chills up his spine. “You sound better. Anything exciting happens?” He asked curiously. “Today? Nope. I spent the day freaking everyone out. Supposedly a good mood is good enough reason to search the place. They think I've gone manic.” He laughs again. If only he could be there to pull that laughing idiot into him. He shook his head. “So how's the pen? Any sexy prisoners, I should be…nevermind.” Mick shook his head again. Was he really just about to ask if he was hooking up with someone? After he broke up with him? He decided to not say anything. Ian seemed so happy, he couldn't break that, not yet. “Eh, you know me, I make em swoon.” He laughed and heard Ian laugh back.

Over the next few weeks, it's the same. Ian and Mickey talk on the phone keeping it light and not talking about all of the things they really need to talk about but who can with short phone calls every few days. Finally, Ian gets word on his release and frowns for a second. Will Mickey stop calling now that Ian is fine? Will he allow him to visit? He had to ask. He was happy about getting back out into the world, he just wished it was a world in which Mickey could be out in with him like before.

When the phone rang, Ian dreaded answering it for the first time in a long time. “Hey..” He said. “Ian? You okay?” The voice on the other end was etched with concern. “Yeah, sorry, found out I'm getting out in a few days.” He hesitated. “That's great! Why do you sound like someone kicked you in the vagina Gallagher?” Ian laughed. “Um, just wondering something. Are you gonna stop calling now that I'm better?” Mickey laughed from the other end. “You think your getting rid of me? That's what this is?” Ian didn't speak. “It's just, I didn't know if you'd want to talk to me anymore, you know I was a total dick to you before.” He Heard Mickey sigh. “Look I'm getting the look, so I have to go, but I got ya number Gallagher, and I didn't make sure you were on my visitor's list so that you could go disappearing on me again alright? I expect to see for myself that you aren't batshit crazy alright?” He nodded but realized he hadn't answered.

“Yeah Mick, okay.” He answered.

 

Mickey got off the phone feeling confused. On one hand, he was happy that Ian obviously still wanted to keep these chats up. But he was pissed that he actually thought Mickey only cared since he was all crazy and shit. Is that what he thought of their entire relationship or even parts of it, that Mickey was only there because he had some sick need to fix him? He had said it after all on those steps. Is that what he meant? That he thought he never gave a damn unless Ian was sick and crazy. He loved every part of that man, him being sick scared the hell out of him, it was true he wanted him better, but not because he wanted to be responsible for it, but because Ian could light up the whole world when he was happy. When he was depressed, the light didn't just go out in him but everything around him, including Mickey. He felt his hand swell as he hit the wall. “Fuck!” He screamed out. “Yeah dumbass, the wall is stronger than you.” He heard another inmate yell out. “Oh fuck off!” He screamed back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is short, but it just kind of fit that way. :)


	3. The Group

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian promises mandy he'll go to a support group.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im inspired, happens when you spend all day watching season 2 of shameless.

Chapter 3: The group  
Ian walked into the hall feeling a little sad and ashamed. This was a mistake. He had agreed to go try out this whole support group meeting shit and he had bearly stepped in and was already looking for a way out and fast. He had already turned to go, hoping nobody would notice when he was stopped by a voice. Fuck. “Hello, going for the escape already must be a record. He turned to look at the lady speaking. She was probably in her late 30’s, she was beautiful sure, she seemed friendly enough, but he had friends, or he didn’t really anymore, but he sure the hell had enough family to make up for it. “Um yeah, not really my thing, sharing feelings and shit.” He stopped. He just sounded like Mickey, what the hell. “Eh, it’s not for everybody, although I think actually sitting in and seeing that would be a better judge, than walking in and walking back out, I could take that personally ya know.” She spoke in a laughing tone. “And why would you do that? Whatever you got, make you think everything’s about you or something lady.” He widened his eyes at his own mouth. He was definitely going to have to watch it.

“Ha, funny, No, but the fact that I run this bitch might have something to do with it, smartass.” She raised an eyebrow. Oh great. “sorry, wait you're like the group therapist or something?” she shrugged. “or something. I have a criminal Psych degree, but I do have a day job, this is just something I do.” He tried to smile at her but it came out flat. “Look you don’t want to be here, don’t be, but I have to warn you, we’re pretty fucking awesome around here.” He stopped for a minute and stared at her. Then he tried to remember why h had agreed to come here. Oh, that was right, he had promised Mandy, who he was sure would be making a full report to Mickey. He shrugged and decided to stay.

The meeting went fine, people talking about their shit and finally, they came to him. He almost walked out again, mainly because of the question she had started off with. “Are you medicated.” Fucking kidding me. He stood up. “Sorry, I can’t do this, I get enough of this, are you taking your meds shit at home, I'm out.” “Do you usually jump to conclusions? Or is it just something I bring out in you Ian?” she asked. He looked at her confused. “Look, I get it, You’ve never been here, you don’t want to be here, fine. I wasn’t asking if you’ve taken your meds, this is something I ask all of the first timers, look around. Not every person in this room is medicated. See it's like this, everyone in this room that is medicated raise your hand.” About 10 of the people in the room raised their hands. “Anybody recently go off their meds.” Two. “Anybody, absolutely not medicated.” About 5. He sighed. “sorry.” She nodded. “Look, If you want to go, that is your decision. But I'm betting that whoever convinced you to come here, might have thought that being around people who know whats its like to live with a disorder, might understand a little bit better than an overbearing friend or family, am I right?” he nodded defeated. “You don’t have to tell your story, that’s up to you.” He nodded again. “Fine, I'm recently re-medicated.” He started and told his story. He didn’t know why he suddenly felt like sharing with these people, but he told them a lot of shit he probably should have, judging by the look on the lady’s face. Her face looked almost pale.

“Woah, sorry, overshare I guess, lady you okay.” She nodded. “yeah yeah, all good. The Name is Serenity, by the way.” He nodded. When the meeting was over he was still feeling oddly worried about the lady, who had at first seemed like the kind of woman you wouldn’t scare if you tried, but somehow he had managed. What had he said?

“Um…Serenity?” she turned and looked at him and smiled. “Yeah?” she asked. “What was it that I said that freaked you out there? You looked like you were about to fall over. “Oh, nothing, I just hadn’t realized. When you were talking you referred to a mandy and Mickey a lot. Milkovich right? She tilted her head as she spoke. “How’d you….oh I guess, mandy did recommend the group, it would make sense.” She nodded. “You know them well?” I asked. “You could say that.” She said as she left.

“You sent him where!?” Mickey practically yelled at the phone. “Chill, geez. It’s a group meeting for people with bipolar disorder. I thought it would be good for him.” He eyed her. “and how did you know about this group thing?” She looked around the room. “umm, you know, serenity runs it.” She spoke quickly. “I fucking knew it. Why would you send him there?”, “Oh, I don’t know because she’s amazing, and it could do him a lot of good Mickey.” She spoke rolling her eyes at him. “Oh yeah because I really want her to find out about all of my shit, from my ex-boyfriend who just got out of the hospital.” He sighed. “wait, Mickey, you said she knew you were in here! She doesn’t know does she?” she asked. He shook his head. “Are you crazy, of course, I didn’t call her, what’s the use, she gonna abra codabra my ass outta here?” he looked up at the buzzer. “Oh look, gotta go. Don’t do anything else stupid in between visits k?” he said and walked off. Mandy let out a scream.

Mandy was pacing the floor after talking to Mickey and then Ian, who said that serenity looked like she was going to faint when she made the connection between the three. If Mickey hadn’t even told he was locked up, what else had he failed to mention? What else was he afraid that his ex-boyfriend and his ex-best friend would chat about while he was locked up.

Mickey knew she would come soon and there wasn’t anything he could do about it. He could have tried to make sure they wouldn't let her in, but what use was it, she’d probably find a way in any way. This time he wasn’t even taken to the usual visiting area, with the glass between them. He was seated in some kind of meeting room. Usually for clients and lawyers. He sighed. What did she do? Serenity walked into the room and he saw the fire in her eyes before she even reached him. Shit. “well well well, if it isn’t Mickey Milkovich, Hows jail?” she asked staring him down. “Fucking sucks, what do you think Blu.” He said trying to get her to smile. She didn’t. “Met your ex-BOYFRIEND.” She said eyeing him. “Umm, yeah, about that, so umm…guess what…I'm gay?” he said looking at her. “Fucking duh asshole! Nice of you to tell me though.” She shook her head. He set his head down on the table. “I get that you had to come visit, but what am I doing in this room?” he asked looking around. “Oh that. Well, I brought someone with me, dickhead.” He grunted even louder when she waved and her husband rounded the corner looking smug. He banged his head against the table.

“Mickey..good to see you again.” He said politely, “Doubt it, What is this?” he asked looking at the man. “I just became your lawyer it seems.” He said looking up towards his wife who nodded. “Oh no, you didn’t. I don’t need a lawyer, look already been put away, no reversing that shit.” He said sarcastically. “Serenity turned around and refused to look at him, walking off a little ways. “Look Mickey, I don’t care what happens to you, I really don’t, but I love that woman, and she loves you, she may be really hurt right now, but your family, if you don’t let me try to help you, Shes going to kill me in my sleep or some shit.” He laughed and Mickey did too. “Alright fine, good luck.” He nodded and got up and left, kissing his wife on the forehead as he did so. Serenity walked back over and looked down at Mickey. “Look here shitthead, I love you, even if you are a stubborn ass, alright. And I'm going to help you, and I'm going to help that cute red-head of yours too, He’s a firecracker too ya know??” she said laughing. Mickey looked at her and shrugged. “I rubbed off on him.” “Oh, I bet you did.”

 

Ian went to a few more meetings, he tried to pry a little into Serenity and Mickeys past, but nobody was telling him anything, which was odd, he had never seen her in the neighborhood that him and Mickey both grew up in, yet she was somehow close with Mickey, how he didn’t know. “So it was a good meeting today you think?” she asked him, as he was the only one that stuck around. “yeah, yeah good. I actually wanted to ask you something, from a professional standpoint?” he asked. She nodded. “I was thinking of finally going and visiting my ex, in person, you know instead of phone calls, but you know, it's hard to judge?” he asked gaging her reaction. She seemed to think for a minute. “If you think you're ready, that sounds like a great idea, I'm sure mi…your ex, would be glad to see you, yeah?” he nodded at her. “You can say his name, you know? Mickey.” He said to her. “Now Ian, are you really contemplating on whether seeing Mickey would be a good idea, or are you just trying to milk me for information again?” she asked eyeing him. “How about this…when you go see him, ask him about it yourself, if he calls me and says yo bitch, you know that sexy ex of mine, yeah tell him everything he wants to know, then, ill answer every question you have, until then, its not my story to tell Ian.” She said sadly. “I will tell you this, just so you’ll shut up alright? We were friends, good friends, and we just stopped talking.” She ended it after that and lightly tapped his shoulder before heading out. “Goodnight Ian.”

“Yeah, so you think I'm sexy huh?” he laughed. She shook her head. “Not really my type, but definitely Mickey’s” she winked at him and left.

It took days but after prodding, Ian convinced Serenity to go with him to his first meeting with Mickey. He was nervous, and as he put it, what a better way for him to ask Mickey about her than if she was sitting right there, no need for a middle man. She rolled her eyes and said okay. “Don’t make me regret this Gallagher.” She said smiling at him. She showed some kind of badge to the guard. “You know your good to go back Mrs. Lane, Your Husbands already back there with him, but you can’t bring….guests.” She just smiled sweetly at him. “Now Lou, I know, I know, but this is Ian Gallagher, Mr.Milkovich’s partner, and well he just got out of the hospital you know, I wouldn’t normally ask to bring him back there, we can do a visit in the visitors room, its just he’s not quite used to people again, didn’t want him to have a set back or anything. I'm sure you understand, I would be there the entire time.” She smiled sweetly at the older man. He seemed to break which Ian found odd. What kind of connections did this woman have? “Alright, as long as we follow the rules, alright?” she nodded sweetly. “you ready Ian?” she asked putting her hand on his shoulder, looking up at lou. She was really playing this guy. He nodded lightly.

“Look, Aiden, I know you are trying to help, but seriously what do you think you are going to find? If I could think of anything that could get me out of this hell hole and back home, don’t you think I would tell you….IAN?” he had looked up in the middle of his speech to what Ian only guessed was Serenity's husband. “how’d you get in here.” Serenity just laughed. “Oh Mickey, you doubt me? I'm hurt. Come on babe, let's give them a minute. Just wave me over if you guys need me. Don’t go getting me in trouble either” she eyed the boys.

“Hey, Mick,” Ian said shyly sitting down. “I see you two are getting along.” Mickey laughed. “I was a little nervous about visiting you, and I had some questions about her, which she won’t answer, but now I just want to see you.” He laughed a little. Mickey reached out his hand and caressed the top of Ian’s. Ian pulled back and looked back to see if the guard was watching. “hey…It’s okay, I can touch your hand, Lou ain't gonna come running for that unless you don’t want me to.” He spoke. Ian shook his head. “No, not that, just weird ya know, being in here instead of…” Mickey nodded at him. “you had questions?” Mickey asked trying to break the ice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here it is. I wasn't sure about adding this character, but i like her, and I hope you will too.


	4. Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aiden works tirelessly to find a way out for Mickey. Can help from an unexpected bystander, do anything?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swore to myself, I would put down the Ian/Mickey obsession and focus on other things , turns out I lied to myself. ;)

Chapter 4:

Serenity looked down at her husband. He looked exhausted, she sighed, he was working so hard trying to find an out for Mickey, and it killed her to see him like this, almost defeated but so determined and it was all for her. “Nothing yet?” she asked already knowing the answer. He shook his head. “You know I'd never give up unless it was hopeless right?” He said lightly. She nodded. “Is it? Is that what you’re…?” She was cut off by him grabbing her arm and pulling her onto his lap. “Not yet, I'm not done trying, I just..you know right? I would never give up on him until I didn't have a choice. I know Mickey and me haven't always… Or ever seen eye to eye about anything but when I look at that kid, everyone has given up on him, and I just want to save him. I just keep thinking, what if it was you or the twins.” He hung his head. She stroked his cheek.

“Babe, I know.” She said placing her head against his. “I know, I told him I didn't care what happens to him, that I was doing this for you. He thinks that because I grew up the way I did, that I'll never understand, I just don't want to let him or you down.” He sighed again. She nodded at him. “Come on, back at it tomorrow, let's go look on on those beautiful babies and get some rest.” She said lightly. He nodded picking her up with him as he got up. She hated when he looked defeated like this, she knew it would happen when she ran in here after that first meeting of Ian's, asking, no begging him to help Mickey.

 

Aiden Lane looked up from his work a few days later when his father walked into his office. “Hey, son. You look, well honestly like shit, what's up with you?” He asked. “This case, it's just killing me. I want to get this guy home to his family, I just..” He hung his head again. His father eyed him curiously and sat down across the desk, holding out his hand for the file. “Tell me what you got?” So he did. He told his father what wasn't in the file, everything he knew surrounding what happened the night in question. He watched his fathers reaction, especially when he said mickeys name. “Milkovich, wasn't that a friend of that wife of yours?” He asked curiously. He nodded. “Didn't you once get into a fist fight with that kid?” He asked. Aiden nodded. “Doesn't mean I want him behind bars, away from his son, his partner, his best friend.” He emphasized the last part. Kyle lane nodded at his son. “Alright then. If that's what you want…” Aiden shot his head up. “Dad….” Kyle brushed his son off.

“Don't start. You looked through the files, an appeal based on violated rights doesn't seem to be working for you, so let me see what I can find out. That's all, completely legit. Just a nice conversation between colleagues about an old case, that's all.” He said laughing. Aiden rolled his eyes. “Dad, that's not legit, and you know it.” He nodded. “You want this kid out or not?” He asked. He nodded at his dad. His father left and smiled at him. “Then let me see if I can help you. What else can an old man do for his son who has everything.”

 

Mandy sat next to her best friend laughing at something he was saying. He seemed happier lately. His visit and phone calls with her brother seemed to have lifted his spirits. Sometimes she saw his eyes cloud over and would hold her breath waiting for it to be more than it was, but he would come out of it a few hours later. He had his gloomy days but he was trying to be strong, he was trying to slowly repair his relationship with Mickey and it seemed to be going well. She was laughing as he complained about the head and started stripping down. “Keep your clothes on buddy. “I'm not naked mands.” He was down to his boxers and a black wife beater, she eyed him closely. “Did you get a tattoo?” She asked lightly, seeing the curve of black ink peaking out from his chest. “Yeah, um, a manic moment before I got locked up, no big deal.” He shook his head and went back to what he was saying. “Lemme see?” She asked. He shook his head. “Nope, no peaking.” He jumped up and ran into the kitchen calling out for Lana.

 

Mickey stared at Aiden, in some kind of shock. “What are you saying?” He asked begging the man to repeat himself. “My original plan for an appeal is a bust, that's all. I'm not giving up Mickey.” He sighed. He knew it was a lie. In all the years he had known Aiden, he'd never seen him like this. He was typically the confident, perfect guy, that's what he hated about him mostly. When he had met him, he had been everything Mickey hadn't been, grew up in a way Mickey couldn't even imagine and he had hated how his best friend just seems to be taken by this asshole, he never saw what she saw in him. ,

“I get it, you're giving up, you just don't want to say it.” He sighed. Aiden let out a bitter laugh. “I am far from giving up, I am not ready to go out there and look at my beautiful wife and my children and admit that I failed. No, not yet.” Mickeys head shot up. “Children?” He asked. Aiden's eyes seemed to have widened. “Shit, she's going to kill me.” He sighed. “Yes, we have twins, they are two now.” He smiled. “Congratulations man. I mean that.” And Mickey did. A lot had changed over the years but he knew that serenity had always wanted to be a mother, to give a child better than what she had gotten, she had all this love to give, and Mickey was truly happy for her. “I know she wanted to tell you herself. Sorry about that.” Mickey nodded.

He heard the man's phone go off. Aiden pulled it out to silence it but looked down and picked it up. “Yeah…you what? Are you serious….how the…okay fine dad, thanks….yeah, I'm with him now? Thanks again. Love you too.” He hung up his phone. Mickey stared in awe, that last line distracted him, this guy even had a great relationship with his father, he had everything.

“Mickey!” Mickeys head shot up at Aiden Savin his hand in front of his face. His face was confused by brighter. He didn't look defeated anymore. “Yeah?” He asked looking nice up. Lou was waving at them. “Lou's saying to wrap it up man, what is it?” Mickey asked. “You have been issued a re-trial,” Aiden spoke quickly before turning around and nodding at Lou. “What!? How?!” He practically jumped out of his chair. Aiden shrugged. “I don't have the details yet.”

 

Ian walked into his weekly meeting and saw serenity dancing around the room, laughing with a few of the people. He laughed out loud. “You sure you aren't bi-polar there? Your moods seem to be extreme as mine before the meds.” He laughed. “Oh, Ian! You beautiful man!” She grabbed him and danced around. He just shook his head. She laughed again. “What are you doing after the meeting?” She asked her eyes glowing. He shrugged. “Oh good. You up for a Mickey visit? Cuz we are going to see Mickey!!” She kept dancing. “Seriously, are you okay? You are freaking me out?” She just nodded. “Dance with me!” So he did. He laughed and danced with her until the meeting began. After the meeting, they all went over to the prison. Aiden watched his wife with an admiring smile. “She's something, isn't she?” Aiden. Ian nodded. “What's up with her? Aiden just shrugged and smiled. She practically skipped up to the guards who let them in nodding. Even Lou laughed as she glided up to him. And then he saw it. It wasn't just serenity. Mickey stood up as she ran to him, hugging her and spun her around. Lou turned around as if he didn't see a thing.

Mickey finally looked over at him and he was smiling, he was happy he held out his hands for Ian and Ian looked over his shoulder and walked up to him. “Okay seriously, what the hell is going on. This one.” He pointed at serenity. “Has been dancing around for like an hour and you…you look so deliriously happy, that I just want to kiss you…” And he stopped eyes getting wide. “Sorry…” Mickey just smiled. What happened next, was surreal. Mickey pulled Ian in and gave him a quick kiss before just sitting down in his seat, he laughed at the look Lou was giving him. “What the…” Ian just stared at him. “Okay seriously, you people sure I'm the one who has bipolar?” He asked eying them. “You ready to tell him?” Aiden laughed. And all three of them smiled as Mickey looked at his ex-boyfriend. “Ian, I'm getting a re-trial! He did it, that crazy fucker did it. Since the first time since I ran away from Sammi on those steps, there's hope. And that's an amazing feeling.” Mickey beamed at him.

“Re-trial? What does that mean?” Ian asked warily. “It means, we go back into the courtroom and present our case, except this time, no shitty defense attorney, you have us,” Aiden spoke. “And besides the defense is pretty worried, I got cornered outside the studio today, he was awful grumpy, and I know that man, Harold grumpy means he’s scared of ruining his big win.” She giggled. Ian just smiled brightly. He looked back at Mickey. “Hope.” Mickey nodded. It had been a long time since either one of them had hope for anything. But here it was. Hope that Mickey could get out earlier than 14 plus years, hope that Ian could manage to keep taking his meds, hope that the two of them could still fight out their issues and be stronger.

 

That small, tiny word, had a lot of emotions behind it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay there goes. Hope you like it. :) reviews always welcome, i enjoy them.


	5. Spinning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian tries to deal With his insecurities.

Chapter 5:

The weeks went on and the trial edged near. Ian started to panic. What if this didn't work, what I'd Mickey still stayed locked up, what if nothing changed or what if everything changed, once Mickey was out, he had to face what he had done. Breaking up with the one person who just wanted to be there for him and help him. They had been avoiding the truth since Ian called that first time, pretending that he hadn't shattered mickeys heart that day and again that day in the prison sitting across from him acting as if they never mattered. What about what happened after, the things Mickey hadn't been there to witness. The fling with Caleb, the moments that followed, it was sure to all come tumbling down on him, but first, he needed to be able to look at Mickey and really look at him and not behind those walls with everyone watching his every move.

Ian moved slowly around the house. Taking his pills with more regret than ever. If he had never left Mickey, if he hadn't of been sick, there were so many what ifs swirling around in his head as he got ready for his meeting. The meetings had helped, but he was holding back, he knew that. At those meetings, he recited the same story over and over again as if it was that he had in him but it wasn't. The despair he was feeling was something he hadn't shared with anyone, especially not the woman that was essentially hell-bent on saving the love of his life. How could he express to her how scared he was to have Mickey back in his life on the outside again. How could he tell her that he had broken her friend and he didn't know how to fix it.

 

Serenity sat and listened to the people around her again tell the demons of their past. She couldn't help but watch Ian as he spoke. He looked so tortured. She hadn't noticed it until recently, it was like as soon as he found out the chances of Mickey being it were real, the demons he was pretending didn't exist, were edging at the surface again and it killed her to see him suffering. She wanted to help him but she knew that pushing too hard could lead to him shutting himself off and that's the last Hong he needed right now. When everyone was gone he just sat there staring off into space. She had seen it before in so many people. “You remind me of him, ya know?” She looked up as she spoke, not knowing if he would really hear her. “How so?” He looked up at her. “Your strength, your both trying like hell to be strong for the ones around you, especially each other.” He laughed at her statement.

“I'm not strong, I'm weak, like Monica.” He said sadly. She scooted her chair up to his face and held his face in her hands. “Look at me. You are not your mother, you are Ian. You may have the same disorder, but every single person with bipolar is different. Every single person on this earth has demons. Some are small Ian, some are big. Some can be explained by a disease such as yours and some can not. But all of us, no matter how big or small have demons. It's how we move past those demons that matters.” She finished speaking and looked at him sadly. “You don't seem to have many demons.” He stated.

She laughed for a minute before she got serious. “I have plenty of demons Ian, I have demons that leave me lying awake at night. I have plenty of reasons to not want to get out of bed every morning but I do and do you know why I do?” He shook his head. “Because there are people that need me to. I have a husband who shows me every day what it's like to have true strength, he is my rock. He doesn't have to be there, that man could have walked away when he found me on the floor in a mess when we were dating, he could have left and found someone better, less damaged, but he didn't. Instead, he held me up and kept holding me up every time I fell, he gave me two amazing children, who love me, who look at me like I am the beginning and the end of everything. He gave a girl from a different world a place in his and he did that without expecting anything but my love.” She spoke with tears in her eyes.

 

Ian looked at the woman in front of him. Not fully understanding but knowing that she did. She was right, just because she wasn't sick didn't mean she didn't understand. “I'm scared. It's stupid. He could get out and I'm happy about that. I am. But I'm terrified when he gets out he's going to realize how much better off he would be without me, without my illness in his life. He deserves someone he can just love and not have to fix.” He sighed. “What if it isn't about fixing you, Ian? What if it's just about loving you in the only way he knows how. He's not better off without you. I knew the Mickey before you, I knew him well. He was tough on the outside but he hated himself, he was scared deep down, of terry, of himself. He thinks he deserves to be where he is. That's why he didn't ask for help when he got in trouble, he's been saying he was destined to be in that place since he was old enough to understand what that place was. You give him hope for something better, that isn't something to be taken lightly.” She said.

He just looked at her watching her for a minute. “He loves you, and love for Mickey isn't something he just gives away, if he gave it to you, then you deserve it. If your willing to fight for it, then it's not about who can fix who, it's about you saving each other, about holding each other up when you're at your weakest. You'll both have those moments, and you'll both be better for it.” She said standing up holding out her hand. “Now, are you coming with me or not?” He looked up at her nodding.

 

Mickey listens intently to all of the things Aiden tells him until he sees them walk through. Ian. He smiles up at him and frowns at the looks on the faces of Serenity and Ian. They looked like they had just gotten out of an intense conversation. Both looked like they had been crying and Ian looked as if he had a cloud of despair weighing him down. Perfect Timing for Ian's sickness to weigh him down, he was worried. “Hey.” He spoke lightly. Aiden looked back and ushered himself to his wife. “Hey…hey. You okay?” She nodded lightly. “And you?” Mickey turned to the red-head now seated in front of him. “I'm good, emotions run high at the meeting sometimes, no big deal. Still medicated.” He said assuring Mickey. Mickey held out his hand, “no what I was asking, you both just look worn, just being concerned.” Mickey Said. Ian nodded. “I'm fine, we had a good talk.

Mickey looked at Ian and smiled lightly. This man was his everything, he was terrified he would lose him. They didn't speak for a minute. Then Ian broke, In the small amount of time he had, Ian rehashed all of the things he was sorry for. “Hey…shhh, it's okay. If I could jump over this table and hold you I would. I did a lot of shit too ya know? Want to see something?” Ian looked up and nodded. Mickey looked over at Aiden and nodded. Aiden walked over and placed the papers in front of Him. Ian looked up. “Is that?” He nodded. “Divorce papers. I'm going to be a legally single man.”


	6. verdict

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Mickey get out?

Chapter 6: Verdict  
Serenity held her breath as the listened to the judge. She was terrified. If this ended badly, she didn’t know how her former best-friend would take it. He had finally been given some hope, and for it, all to be taken away in an instant would kill him, and what would it do to his ex-boyfriend who was sitting behind him with his hand on his shoulder. All of the Gallaghers were right behind Ian to offer encouragement. Mandy was sitting beside Ian, and Serenity was directly behind her husband, waiting, holding her breath. The trial had gone on for days. All of the Gallagher children had spoken, herself as well. Mickey and Ian both took the stand. It was emotional, it was hard to set through, She had listened to her husband speak on the horrible tragedy of being born into the life Mickey was and what it could do to a person, she even let a tear slip out as he looked at her. He wasn’t just referring to Mickey but her as well.

Aiden watched the man next to him about to break. It was the moment of truth, they were all waiting as the jury filed out one by one, ready to hand their verdict for the charges. The foreman of the jury stood up. “Do you have a verdict?”, “We do.”

Mickey listened intently almost in a blur. Not guilty, of 1st degree attempted murder. Guilty on 2nd-degree kidnapping. Wait what? Mickey looked at Aiden to find out what that meant. Aiden smiled and nodded. Motioned for him to listen to the judge. “Mickey Milkovich, I sentence you to One-year incarceration and 5 years’ probation. At which the one-year time served, and house arrest for 6 months. Do you have a home to go to?” the judge asked and Mickey didn’t speak. All at once, the Gallagher’s, Mandy, Ian, and Serenity spoke. “He does.” The judge smiled. “Alright then, the actual address will need to be given to the court before the end of the day Mr. Lane. Mr. Milkovich will be released in three days’ time. Mr. Milkovich, you are one lucky man, there are people in this room that care a hell of a lot about what happens to you, don’t forget that.”

Ian looked at Mickey who was frozen in shock. “Mick! Three days, not 14 years, 3 days!” he leaned over and hugged him tightly.

And that was it, the next three days were torture but in the morning of that third day, Mickey was being ushered out of the prison. The guards followed the car to the Lane house. That’s where he would be staying, They all got settled in and there it was, this huge house, reminding him of why he didn’t fit into to Serenity’s world anymore. This house, this place. He saw Ian standing against the door in the back looking around in awe. “They live here?” he said in shock. “yup. Fuckin rich people.” Mickey stated. “Look, watch it. You two chill out, I’ll show you your rooms if you promise to behave.” Serenity laughed. “What kind of behaving?” mickey smirked at her.

Serenity laughed as they walked past a line of rooms to the end of the hall with two rooms right next to each other. “hey if you wanna fuck like rabbits for the next six months, have at it. That would be why my room is at the other end of the hallway.” She laughed at her own joke. Mikey rolled his eyes. Alright Gallagher, you ready for this, time to fight it out.” Ian nodded at him. “have fun boys, I’ll come get you for dinner and meds.” She looked at Ian with the last part and left.  
There they were alone in this oversized room looking at each other not speaking, in fact, they weren’t even standing on the same side of the room. It was like they were aiming for a fight, and they did. They fought about everything they never did before. Ian yelled about how alone he felt sometimes with Mickey, how he married Lana, without even caring what Ian felt, kicking the shit out of him that day. Mickey yelled about all of the things Ian did while sick, the cheating, the leaving, and especially that day on those stairs, not caring as they took him away, emotionless in that room, and then it was time for the real of it all. “before we talk about you going off on the meds again, and the events that led to you getting put back in that place, I need to do something.” Ian eyed mickey. Mickey rushed to Ian and pulled him into a long searing kiss. The kind of kiss that makes you go weak in the knees, in fact Ian did. He pulled him in harder, closer and kissed him back. “God I missed that.” Mickey smiled up at him.  
Ian sadly looked at Mickey when the kiss was over. “Can’t we just do that all night.” He lifted his eyebrows. “No firecrotch, you stopped taking your meds, you went on some kind of bender and you almost died, so I need to hear every horrifying detail.” He closed his eyes ready to hear the horrible details. “after that day, I started seeing someone….it was fun and different, I thought, maybe relationships are supposed to be simple like this, not fucking and fighting all the time, all passion ever got me was a bunch of hell.” Ian spoke. Mickey cringed, he wanted to run out, find the guy and strangle him, would it be worth going back in, probably not, but he knew for a few seconds it would. “it didn’t last long though, I thought I was evened out, but I guess I was still numb, I started feeling again, really feeling, the guilt. The guilt of that day, leaving you after you had been there for me. After you took care of me and loved me. We could have been happy, we finally were before I got sick, you came out for me and then I just got so sick, so horribly sick and I couldn’t see past that fear of becoming Monica. So I started freaking out.” Ian said. Mickey nodded.

 

“I thought if I saw you it would somehow change something, maybe if you told me to fuck off, or called me an idiot, or even told me you loved me, something anything, it would make the feeling of no longer being in control go away. I went to the jail and they wouldn’t let me in, you didn’t want to see me again, you hated me, I was sure of it, I had messed up so bad that the only person who had every truly and completely loved me, didn’t care anymore, if I could somehow ruin your love for me, I didn’t deserve to be loved, I didn’t deserve anything. “Ian finished, he was crying now.  
“I didn’t hate you, I was mad when you left, I forgot that I had even told the guard, I just didn’t want to be waiting around for you to show up, I'm so sorry ian.” he breathed out the words. Ian shook his head. “you didn’t know that I would come back and lose my shit. I went off my meds, I don’t know, maybe it was because you didn’t want me anymore, maybe it was a way of getting Caleb out of my life, maybe I just wanted to see how he’d react to the batshit crazy Ian Gallagher. That was fun, let me tell you. I don’t remember a lot of it. Pretty sure I told him to hit me. So that I could feel like it did with you.” Ian laughed. So did Mickey. “You asked him to hit you?” Ian nodded. “I lost my shit okay, soon after I found myself surrounded by men and drugs, some club I think. I was so fucked up that night, I could feel it, I was dying, I was so out of it, I called you. Well your old phone, then I called Mandy. I was passed out in a pool of my own blood, piss, and puke when Lip and Fiona showed up. I don’t remember much, I just remember them showing up, and screaming and crying, so much crying.”

At some point, Mikey had collapsed against the floor. As Ian spoke he pictured it, his love his life, calling him with no answer, passed out on the concrete somewhere, almost died because he wasn’t there to help him. Even if they hadn’t been together, he would have been there to pull him out, he knew that. He didn’t mean to but when Ian got close he slapped him. “Shit, I'm sorry, it's just, don’t fucking do that shit again, I should have been here, But you, If you die, I die, got it!” he screamed as Ian pulls him to him. “okay, okay, never again.” Mickey just kept repeating himself.

“FOOD AND MEDS, and a surprise! Hurry it up, punch each other, come on the walls, and get downstairs.” They heard serenity yell. “Oh, the walls? Dude seriously, I love this woman!” Ian yelled laughing. Mickey laughed too. “yeah she’s something.” He just picked himself off the floor, and held a hand out for Ian. “ let's go see what she's going on about. We have six months of me being locked in this place to figure us out.” He laughed some more. They were almost downstairs when Ian asked. “So did I out you, with her, I forgot to ask? I didn’t mean to…” and Mickey laughed, this earth-shattering laugh. “Oh fuck no, I never told her exactly, but she’s been giving me shit about liking dick since forever, I don’t know how, but that bitch just knows shit.” He laughed as they walked in and stopped in his tracks.  
At the table was Serenity and Her husband, and there were two children sitting in high chairs, a boy, and a girl, they giggling looking up at her. “well look at that.” Mickey smiled. “and look at that.” Mickey turned towards where Ian had his attention. Yevgeny sat there in a third high chair looking at Mickey. “hey buddy. How’d you?” Serenity looked at him. “You doubt me? Lana dropped him off. We agreed it would be good for you.” She laughed. “God, I love you woman.” He went up to serenity and spun her around and looked down at Aiden smiling up at them. “and you, dude, I was so wrong about you, thank you for everything, for loving her, for getting me out of that place, even after all the things I said to you back then, thank you.”  
The next few weeks were almost perfect. Ian only left to work, as well as everyone else, Mickey stayed with the munchkins when they were all away, Ian took his meds but they hadn’t had much more time alone, he wasn’t sure if that was on purpose or not. They had fought it out, but that’s as far as they had gotten, they had been acting like friends, who occasionally hug, it was driving Mickey crazy. It had to end, he needed Ian back, not only in name but in his bed. He was out now, it was time this beating it around the bush shit end.


	7. Touch me, asshole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian and Mickey get close. Mickey finds out something that shatteres him:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, thank you for the reviews. I love you all. I'm aware I need to edit this chapter, I wrote it on my phone at work, I will try to get that later.

Chapter 7: touch me asshole

Ian saw it in his eyes when he got home, there was the fire he knew all too well. He and Mickey had been dancing around it for weeks. The fighting out of their system, they had been getting along extremely well. They hadn't talked about being together, what any of it meant. The only thing he knew for sure, was that they were in the same house, the didn't have guards telling them they couldn't touch anymore. So why weren't they? They hadn't even kissed since that first night. That fucking kiss had left him weak in every inch of his body, so why were they avoiding it. Why hadn't he stripped Mickey down right where he stood every night since he had been released. Maybe it had something to do with what Mickey would find when he himself stripped down. As Mickey looked at him he felt his hand graze his own chest. Mandy had noticed the ink poking out months ago but Mickey never had because he never let him.

Mickey looked at him curiously as he walked up  
To him to close the gap between them. “You okay?” He asks reading Ian's face. “Yeah, all good.” Mickey nods. “So you gonna come upstairs and rip my clothes off or what?” Mickey smirks at him. He nods. Now was as good as time as any. He followed him up the stairs. Mickey was so intoxicated when he slammed the door shut behind them and looked into Ian's eyes, pure lust all over his face. He lifted his shirt over his head revealing his own tattoo, messy and written Ian Galagher. Ian chuckled. “Oh shut up Gallagher.” He pulled Ian into a kiss. A kiss that made Ian forget all about why he didn't want to come up here in the first place. Kissing. And touching. Mickey was pawing at Ian's shirt pulling it over his head. He was kissing. Mickey, pulling at the bet on his jeans when he saw mickeys eyes glaze over. “What the fuck is that?” He asked amused. Ian froze, “oh that? Umm been meaning to mention it.” Ian laughed nervously.

 

Mickey stared for a minute at his lover's chest. Had he gotten a tattoo? When? It was nicer than mickeys obviously being that it was professionally done. There was his name in fancy letters. With an infinity symbol below them, and below that it read, until the day I die. Holy fucking shit. “When?” He asks in a low tone running his fingers across it. “Before I stopped taking the meds. Like right before.” He says lightly. “Wait, weren't you and that idiot still dating?” He laughs as Ian nods. “Oh, I would have paid to see that.” Ian looked up at him. “You're not freaked out?” He asks. “Freaked out? Have you seen this shit? At least you spelled yours right.” He laughed.

Ian smiled at him. "God, Mickey, I don't know why I was so scared. Like if you saw it, You'd run." Mickey laughed. "maybe because a few years ago, I fucking would have, I mean come on, you inked yourself, with my name, a few years ago I probably would have cut it off of you myself, I'm fucked up like that, Now shut the fuck up and Come here." Mickey pulled Ian to him roughly.

\--------------

-Knock Knock-

"Fuck off!" Mickey yelled. "YO, Hide all the good parts, I'm coming in." Serenity yelled from outside in the hallway. Ian went for the blanket but Mickey shook his head. "If she wants to fucking barge in here, she can see it all," he said smirking as she opened the door. He didn't know why he expected her to shriek and run away, but of course, she didn't. "Here are some sandwiches, and pills on the side there for that one, figured you wouldn't want to come down, Yev will be here for dinner in a few hours, so get all that lovin out of your system boys, See ya soon," she said placing the tray on the table. "Not even fucking fazed, figures," he said to her as she walked back towards the door. "Like what did you expect Milkovich, I've seen your shit, and what am I supposed to be shying away from here? the fact that I have now seen all of what your boyfriend has to offer? or is that I’m supposed to be shocked at two dudes laying in bed together naked?" she crossed her arms over her chest as if she as about to give a lecture when she stopped. The shocked look that Mickey was originally expecting, wasn't because of nakedness but two boys that had tattoos on their chests. "What the fuck is that?" she pointed to Mickey's. "A tattoo?" she shook her head wildly. "NO, that is a tattoo, yours is a travesty, please let me fix that shit," she screamed. "What you do tatts now two, Look Ian she's a one-woman show!" he laughed.

she threw an object from the counter at him and hit him in the head. "Fucking bitch," he grunted. "No fuck head, Not me, but my sister-in-law happens to be amazing at it, thank you." she rolled her eyes. "Wait, your sister-in-law, you mean someone that is related to that husband of yours does tattoos? please please please tell me shes all gothed out." he practically jumped up. She shook her head, you'll only know if you let her fix it, and on the upside, she knows how to fucking spell." she yelled as she walked out and slammed the door.

"Ugh, Bitch. What do you think, should I spruce this bitch up?" Mickey looked over at Ian who was smiling. "Oh I don't know, I kind of like it, all fucked up and shit, kind of like us." he laughed, which was followed by a push. "Whatever, take your meds firecrotch, We have a lot of time to make up for and I don't plan on letting you leave this room for at least a few more hours." with that Mickey shoved his sandwich in his mouth and ran off to the shower.  
\---------------

Serenity was in a great mood before that moment, everything was fine. The boys were upstairs running around like a couple of teenagers in love, the twins were laughing and Aiden was at work. Everything was perfect until that doorbell rang. When she saw his face her blood ran cold, she tried to push the door closed but she couldn't. "Where is he? Where is that fuck up?" Terry Milkovich screamed at her causing her to jump. She backed up placing herself in front of her twins, edging closer to the counter. "What are you doing here Terry, How'd you get in? How did you get out for that matter?" she asked warily. She was supposed to be notified of his release but she wasn’t. she didn’t know, or she would have been better prepared for his arrival. "Not your concern sweet cheeks, now tell me, where my son is, and that Faggot Gallagher, I know they’re here." He screamed and she was almost to her destination when he grabbed and threw her away from the counter. "You tell me where they are!! or I will oh so kindly remind you what happens to little bitches who fuck with me!" he laughed, and cold and bitter laugh. He was getting closer to her children, and the fear was suddenly gone, the fear for the man she had been terrified of since she was a kid, especially since she was a teenager, she screamed, and lunged towards the man that could probably kill her, knocking him out. She pulled the drawer open that she had been going for in the first place and pulled out her gun.

"You stay the fuck away from my children you psychotic asshole. You want to see Mickey? Go fuck yourself, if you come near me again, I will shoot you. I will not hesitate to blow your fucking head off, you got that?! She knew the boys couldn't hear her. She was hoping they would stay upstairs where they were safe. The asshole came lunging back at her, knocking the gun across the room. Threw her on the floor and ripped her shirt. he had her pinned down, and she closed her eyes, afraid of what was about to happen, and then she heard a loud bang. Please don't let it be Mickey with that gun in his hand she thought as she slowly opened up her eyes. There stood Ian, hand slightly shaking and Terry bleeding on the ground. "What the Fuck?" he asked her and looked down at her ripped shirt and her slightly bruised face. Terry was screaming unable to move, trying to get to Ian still. "Fucking move, fuckhead, I swear." she heard Mickey from behind her.

Ian placed the gun down and ran to her. "Serenity?" she looked up at him before she passed out. When serenity woke up from her fainting spell, she was on the couch, Mikey was holding her, rocking her back and forth, and Ian was wiping the remains of blood, she looked around but didn't see Terry. "What, where is he??" she asked. "Police hauled his ass out about 3 minutes ago, swear we didn't bury him in your yard or anything, asshole will be fine. The other paramedics are almost here for you though." she shook her head violently. "I'm fine," she yelled. "Fuck you are!" Mickey looked down at her intently. "He was going...Look, I'm just glad we decided to come downstairs." she nodded lightly. She was shaking now, the memories coming back to her. "Serenity...had he, you said that before, that you had demons, that Aiden saved you from, It wasn't terry right? those demons? " Ian asked softly looking her in the face.

She stared right at him begging him not to say it. "FUCKING WHAT?" Mickey practically jumped scaring her. "HE...YOU NEVER...Ian, can you hold her for a minute. He said trying to lift her off of him." Ian stepped in his way. "Mickey fucking Milkovich, Sit the fuck down, NOW!" Ian yelled at him. "There are police out there, you really want to go back right now? that's what he wants, we will deal with Terry, alright? we will. Not today, and not like this, but we will. I promise." Mickey grunted and sat back down. Serenity mouthed a thank you to Ian.

\--------------------------

Ian looked over at Mickey who was now sitting in the corner of his room with his legs pulled up to his chest. “Hey…mick?” He asked lightly. Mickey looked up, slowly as his reply, tears filling his eyes. “I didn't know. How didn't I know?” He asked. Ian sat down next to Mickey and pulled him closer to him. “Because she didn't want you to know mick. I'm so sorry…” Mickey nodded lightly. “I just don't understand”, “Mick, tell me about her, you know from before.” He asked him lightly.

Mick sighed, “I was maybe 5, I got sent to this foster home, it was like a group home really, I was with Terry when he got arrested so they sent me there. I was scared and alone and there she was. She protected me, Ian, in that place, held me, rocked me to sleep, told me stories.” He held his head down. “She protected me, why didn't I protect her?” He started to cry. “Mick you didn't know, you couldn't have known what your…what terry did.” Ian got up from where he was sitting and walked to the table to swallow his pills. Mickey looked up at first but nodded. “We were inseparable. Even though she's older, it was like I was her baby brother when I got sent back home, she promised to never go away and she kept it, for a long time.” He sighed.

Ian placed his hand on mickeys back and rubbed up and down trying to soothe Mickey. He was breaking and he didn't know what to do. He wondered if that's how Mickey felt about him when he went crazy. “When she met Aiden, I was so angry that she was leaving me, he told me that he was taking her away from all the shit, I thought he meant me.” Mickey cried harder. “I wasn't.” Ian suddenly looked up to see Aiden in the doorway.

“How is she?” Ian asked. “Good, well she's fine, got all checked out, took a bath, now she's downstairs playing with the twins. Tried to get her in bed, she just wanted the twins.” He smiled lightly. Ian nodded. “Mickey, I'm sorry that you thought I was taking her away from you. I wasn't.” He said lightly looking down at the man.

“Why didn't you just tell me, I would have killed him.” He looked up, fire filed behind his eyes. “I know, so did she, she begged me not to, she bearly told me mick. I found her crunched down in the corner of my living room one day, she was shaking and crying. She said she was fine but it wasn't the last time I found her like that, I didn't notice it the first time, But if come over to her apartment, she was like nineteen at the time, I saw him leaving, stumbling down the hallway, when I saw her, I knew.” He let out a breath.

“How did he know her though mick? She wasn't in the neighborhood. I never noticed her anyway?” Ian asked. “She came through a couple of times to pick me and Mandy up for movies and stuff. We spent time other places, she wanted to show me the world outside of the south-side. Said I had potential. What crap. She met Terry a couple of times. I thought that's all it was. She hated him of course, how did he even know where she lived. Her apartment was on the north side?” He stated looking at Aiden. Aiden shook his head. “I don't know, I just know it had been happening for a while. Maybe years. I know it started in that house. The rest is up for her to tell you mick. I just, I don’t know. You weren't the problem, she needed away from  
It, she was dying inside. She loved you kick, you were her best friend, still are.” Aiden walked out seemingly giving up on talking.

 

Ian and Mickey stayed on the floor for a long  
Time not talking or moving just being there when Ian heard a light knock on the doorframe. There stood serenity, her eyes looked tired, strained and her face was pale. Ian went to get up but Mickey pulled him back down. “It's okay Ian, you can stay.” She said lightly. Mickey shot up and went to her. “Hey. I'm so sorry.” He repeated until he got to her and pulled her into a hug. “You didn't do anything. You were a light in my life for a long  
Time, it's not your fault, I'm fine.” She finished. “It is, I was supposed to protect you, and I didn't, you would have never known him if you didn't know me.” He sighed. “Hey, no, you shut that mouth with that shit. What were you going to do? You were a kid, I wanted you to be a kid. You were eight, what were you going to do? You couldn't. I should have told you, but I was ashamed.” Ian silently and quietly got To the door and walked down the stairs. The old friend had shit to work out and he had a lot of  
Things to work out himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There it is. This is by no means all that we will hear about serenity and mickeys friendship. It deserves so much more time, and I will give it that but it's a balance because I need my boys to have equal time and they will have that as well. :)


	8. Love completely

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian and serenity have a chat.

Chapter 8: Love Completely

Ian walked down the stairs needing a breath. It was a long night, Mickey finally had fallen asleep after hours of tossing and turning. He saw Serenity sitting on the couch as he neared close the living room. He thought about turning around and walking back upstairs, the last thing she needed right now was his sour mood. "Hey there, you gonna come and keep me company or just stand there, staring at me like I'm going to break," she called over her shoulder. how did she do that? She didn't even look over her shoulder. "Hey. I just didn't want to bother you," he said simply. she made a pfft sound and motioned over her shoulder. He did as he was told and sat down.

 

Serenity looked at Ian for a second before deciding to speak. He looked worn down and broken. "You alright kid? You seem..." she trailed off. "Yeah, I'm good, Long night. How do you do that?" he asked looking at her. "What?" she asked confused. "Everything you have been through, and you still sit there smiling at me, worried about me. How do you make it all okay and go on like that, with that smile." she laughed lightly. "It's not all okay, sometimes life sucks, but it could be worse." he just stared at her as she spoke. "Look, Ian, I was in and out of foster care and group homes from the time I was three, there are a lot of bad things that happened to me. Terry being only one of them. I let that eat at me for a long time, I spun out, I went crazy, I thought I was crazy, but sometimes you make a choice. I chose to deal with the bad and focus on all of the beautiful things in life. There are a lot of bad people in this world, but there are so many good ones." she smiled at him.

"Are you sure about that?" he asked laughing. "There are people like you, Ian, You saved me last night, you saved my children, you saved Mickey." he shook his head at her. "I just did what I had to do." he shrugged her off. "Not on your life. You didn't have to but you did. You are the reason that Terry has a bullet hole in his leg, you are the reason I didn't get hurt last night, you getting to that gun before Mickey is the reason that Mickey is still here and not back in jail. I can see why he loves you."

Ian shook his head again. Did he? He had wondered about it often, if Mickey still loved him, really loved him. After everything, were they only here, with each other because Ian got sick again because he went batshit crazy and almost killed himself. Everything always led back to that. "What? You think he doesn't?" she asked. "You don't need to deal with my shit today," he said. She hit him on the arm. "Ow!" he looked over at her. "Hey, you wanna sit here in silence, or do you want to talk to me about what is going on in that pretty head of yours." she crossed her arms.

"Fine, Fine. I just...What if I get sick again, what if I run off and refuse to take my meds and go all Monica, what if I don't get sick, and we just get boring and predictable, what if he doesn't love me anymore, what if he...never...What if he leaves me." he finished in a huff. She smacked him. Really smacked him. "You will always be sick Ian, you deal with it, day by day, moment by moment, when you get depressed, you take a breather, you and Mickey talk about what you need when you feel like that, instead of him guessing what to do for you, tell him what you need. You and Mickey are never going to be boring, He fucking loves you duh, that idiot is so in love with you he can't see straight, he might not say it often, but I can see it. Look, fuck it all, Love him completely and recklessly. Life is fucking short Ian, Love him with all of you, nothing held back, nothing held in, love him, fuck him, and become the worlds greatest love story, So what if it backfires, atleast you'll be able to say that you had it all once, and that it as totally worth every tear, because thats what love is, sometimes it hurts, but when they look at you, it makes it all worth it, because if it wasn't you wouldn’t want to do it again, and again."

"And you, how are you going to move on from...?" he asked trying to divert the attention from this extremely insightful woman. "Me? I am going to talk to my therapist, I am going to love my family, and I am going to cry sometimes, I'm going to scream sometimes, and then I am going to pick it all up, and kick the shit out of you and Mickey for being idiots. Now go up there and pull that idiot into your arms, and tell him you love him." Ian smiled at her.

He ran up the stairs ready to profess everything he wanted to the man in that bed but when he goes to Mickey's room, he wasn't there. He started freaking out slightly until he remembered he couldn't leave the house, but he still wondered about a few things. He hadn't had enough time to process that, he walked into his own room to grab his meds when he saw Mickey laid out on his bed, holding onto Ian's pillow. "Mick?" Mickey looked up and smiled. "Hey there firecrotch, there you are." Mickey sat up on the bed and beamed at him. "Sorry, just chatting with Serenity." Mickey frowned. "How she seems?" Ian nodded at the question. "Good actually, a little insightful and all about life being short and shit, but amazingly well. considering." Mickey nodded. "She's like that. She takes a while to fall apart. I don't know." he shrugged. "Looks like there's another reason she was your best friend." Mickey laughed at the statement. "You know what, fuck you. I come in here looking like this..." he pointed to his naked body. "and you're throwing around shade, well fuck you!" he started to get up, feigning hurt. Ian just pushed him back down and straddled him. "It wasn't an insult there Mr. badass. If you wanted me to fuck you, you just had to ask there."

Ian leaned in closer to Mickey's lips and just before he crashed into them he spoke. "But first, I need to say something, and I need you to listen and hear me," Mickey growled out. "Mick...", "Fine, but take your shirt off first. At least give me something to look at while you go all girly on me." he smirked and threw his shirt off. Mickey bit his lip. "Mick, you terrify me." Mickey looked at him. "Oh, thanks. Love you too asshole." Mickey said it and Ian froze, so did Mickey.

\-----------------------

Mickey stared at Ian, realizing what he had said. "That's the point, Mickey, I do love you, I love you so much that it freaks me out. It would be easy to blame everything that happened on my being sick, it intensifies it, but it doesn’t make it so. I love you so much that being without you makes me want to give up. I'm afraid I'll get sick again, like really sick and you'll leave, or you'll stay out of obligation, I'm scared that Ill say something or do something and You'll realize that you don’t love me, or that I fucked it up too bad. Since you got out, I have been so fucking terrified to tell you that I love you because I don't want to lose you again. You had finally opened up to me, loved me, and I fucked it all up, that isn’t something you just forgive and get over. then I was downstairs listening to Ms. Insightful go on about love, and shit, and she was right, and I just, I needed you to know. I want to be with you, Not just your fuck while you're locked up here, not just your ex who you might have feelings for. I'm all in mick. All in. I want a future with you. I want everything we were building towards before I got sick before I fucked it all up. I want to love you completely, be damned the consequences.” He finally finished looking at Mickey who was now smirking. “You know what Gallagher?” He smiled. “What?” “You talk to fucking much.” And then Mickey grabbed Ian and pulled him into him. Kissing him feverishly.

Mickey was busy pulling all of Ian's clothes off when Ian spoke again. “Mickey, we need to talk about this, what are we, can you answer me that at least?” Mickey grunted again. “Right now? Really?” He said running kissed along Ian's neck while he grabbed his erection in his hand and stroked lightly. “You want me to stop? And have a romantic girly moment, because I don't do that shit. I'm not going anywhere, Ian. I am not here, in this room because you are a good fuck, I am here because you are you. I'm not here with some random fuck, I'm here with your chatty ass.” He heard Ian grown and he continued. “What are we? I'm getting a divorce idiot. That was for you. I don't care if I stay married to that nitwit, I don't give a fuck. Look around Gallagher. If this was just fucking, I'd be done already, not watching your face as you get close to being mine. I fucking love you okay, is that enough, would you like to chat some more, or would you like to get on me?” He said staring into Ian's eyes. “Well, when you put it like that,” Ian said flipping Mickey over.


	9. Chapter Nine: Little Chats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little fun and a little sibling chats.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this has been a while. I had a major block when it came to this one, the other day it came to be to incorporate some family time a little. Hope you like it.

Chapter 9:

 

Mickey woke up in Ian's bed feeling the arms wrapped around him. Much like a time a long time ago when his world was changed once before. He breathed in trying to feel the warmth of the body next to him ignoring the dread that filled him from the memories. He had been so happy back then after he had finally come out only to find out that Ian was sick. He tried to convince himself that it would all be fine, that the worst was over, but really was it? Ian had only been back on his meds for what a few months, what would stop him from fleeing again, it wasn't like Mickey could stop him, he was on house arrest for fuck's sake. It was like he was holding his breath, waiting for Ian to wake up, hoping he'd be the same Ian he fell asleep next to and not another version of the man he loved.

Ian stirred awake feeling Mickey's eyes on him. He looked up at the man, he could see the worry and fear in his eyes, his heart sank instantly. He knew that look. That look of dread etched on mickeys face was all too familiar, he saw Mickey try to cover it up quickly and if Ian hadn't known him better it probably would have worked. It wasn't like the looks of pity he received from his siblings, it wasn't that they didn't love him, they did, and they sure as hell worried about him, but it was different, it was unspoken but he knew they were each thankful it hadn't been them, that made them feel guilty and they never said it but it was true. After all any one of them could have gotten it, any one of them, and yet he had been the one to win the bi-polar lottery. But Mickey was different, his look was etched in fear, fear that Ian would someday slip away, Ian knew that, and it scared the hell out of him, that it was possible.

Mickey watched Ian slowly wake up, the red-head seemed to be lost in some thoughts, but finally, Ian smiled completely at him, which made him feel slightly better. Ian the lifted himself up signaling to Mickey that he was okay, that today was not the day that he would slip away from him. As if reading his mind and knowing exactly what he needed, Ian pulled Mickey to him, kissing him lightly on the lips. “I'm still here mick, I promise.” He said smiling. “How'd you…?” Mickey started to ask, as if he thought it was impossible for someone to know him that well. “I just know. I can see it in your face, even if it's for a split second.” Ian sort of shrugged snuggling up to Mickey. “I'm sorry, I know you hate it,” Mickey said sadly, trying not to think of all the times Ian made his feelings about being babied about his condition, pissed him off. Ian just kissed him again. “Don't apologize for caring. I'm sorry I ever made you feel like you needed to.” Mickey nodded.

 

Ian ran around the kitchen island laughing as Mickey chased him around it. It had been the perfect day so far. The morning had been good for them, now it was somewhere around noon and they were joking around and laughing. How Ian wished they had always been, the moments might have been rare but they were perfect. The phone rings and Ian grunts, it keeps ringing, Mickey is closer to it so he looks down. “Fiona,” Mickey says tossing the phone to him. Ian rolls his eyes. “Freaking great.” He says before pressing the accept button on the screen.

“Yes Fiona.” Ian said obviously annoyed. “Hey Ian, how are you?” She asked. “Good, good, still on the meds, anything else?” He said snapping at her. Then he felt something hit the side of his head. Mickey glared at him slightly, mouthing, be nice. “Ow! Fine, I'm sorry.” Mickey smirked at him. “What was that?” Fiona asked from the other line. “Oh nothing, just, mr.badass telling me to be nice.” He said sticking his tongue out at Mickey as the man flipped him off. “Oh, umm, we were wondering, well the family and I that is, if you would be up to a family dinner this week or if not maybe some visits?” She stuttered as she spoke which amused him for a second. “Umm, I really would like to spend time here, the whole family is a little overwhelming sometimes.” He spoke slowly and Mickey snorted trying not to laugh. It was a cop out, they both knew it. “Maybe just some visits then, not too many at the same time or anything, we miss you Ian, we can come over there, so you don't have to leave Mickey.” She said. He finally sighed. “Fine yeah, visits are fine I guess.” He said rolling his eyes.  
====================

"Why did I agree to this shit? I should just cancel, I love them, but fuck." Ian rambled on while Mickey laughed.  
"You are seriously nervous right now? It's just Fiona." Mickey rolled his eyes at the red head.  
"No...It's just Fiona, and Sean, and Will, and...Jaden." Ian sighed.  
"Jaden? the kid is still in her stomach, what are you freaking out about that for, he's not gonna jump out and yell surprise?!?" Mickey laughed at his own joke.  
"Oh fuck off." Ian put his head down on the table. Mickey placed his hand on Ian's shoulder.  
"Hey, it's okay, this is your family. Your crazy, psychotic, hectic family that you may get frustrated with, may want to kill all of the time, but you love them, and they adore you. they are going to be overbearing, especially Fiona, but they love you okay? You scared all of us, and they just need to see for themselves that you are good, That you are medicated, and everything is fine." Ian only nodded smiling a little at Mickey.

\-------------------  
When Fiona knocked on the door to the house in astonishment, she nervously stomped her food, waiting for an answer. "Maybe we got the wrong address? Is Mickey really living here? Ian is? What is this place?" She asked looking up at Sean who was holding Will's hand and smiling at her.  
"It's the right place, Fi, just give them a second." He said smiling down at his wife.  
The door swung open revealing Mickey and instead of grunting like Fiona remembered him doing as a greeting he just smiled. "Hey guys, um, before I let you in here, can I talk to you?" He said looking from side to side. She nodded curiously.

"Look, I didn't say this, but he's in there freaking out, so go easy okay? he's good, all medicated, promise. Just take it easy." He said standing off to the side letting them in.

Ian greeted his sister and her little family with a smiled and even rubbed her belly to say Hi to the little one inside it. "Raising another one, huh? You sure about that?" Mickey asked looking down at her growing belly. She just nodded.

"Yeah, little one's are all growing up and stuff. Well except Liam, but he's doing good, and we felt like we were ready." He nodded back at her as she took her seat eyeing Ian.

"On Meds, Doing Fine, Not gonna break Fi," he said silently. Mickey placed his hand on the small of Ian's back to soothe him.

"That the only reason you think I'm here Ian? Yeah okay, I'm worried about you, but that isn't just about the bi-polar you know? " she said obviously exhausted having the same conversation over and over again.  
"really?" he asked sounding completely unsure of himself.

"Yeah. You think my worrying about you started when you started showing signs of bi-polar? I worried about you when you were little and I was trying to take care of us and had no idea what I was doing, I worried about you when you were hiding in the closet and scared to come out of it, I was worried about you when you started dating this amazing guy over there, and I was fucking terrified when I realized you were showing signs of bi-polar. I'm scared every day, for every single one of you, for so many reasons, most of you are all grown up, but it doesn't change the fact that I love all of you. I love you, Ian." She said as the tears were falling down her face, begging him to understand.  
"I was so scared back then, because it was new, but now, when I got that call, I freaked out because I had finally believed you were okay, yeah sure you were sad, but I thought you were dealing with that, I thought it was going to be okay, I let my guard down, and every time I think one of your are fine, it blows up in my face. I should have known, I should have been there...." She kept rambling while Sean reached out for her, but he was stopped by Ian who got up and walked over to is sister and pulled her to him.

Lightly rocking her, he stroked her hair. "Hey, Hey now, I'm okay, I'm sorry, I should have said something, but I was fine until I wasn't and I lost it a little, but I'm okay now. I'm taking my meds, Mickey's here with me, I have a freaking therapist living in the same house with me, I go to a support group for people with my disorder, I work, I promise Fi, I'm doing better than I have been in a long time." He watched as she lightly looked up at all of the things he was doing to be better and she lightly smiled.

Getting past that first hurdle was intense, but it was good for them. Mickey watched for a while as they talked over anything they had missed in each other's lives. He smiled when Ian laughed and just watched his boyfriend as he enjoyed a moment with his older sister and her little family. Baby steps and all but this was good.  
\----------------------------------

It was a bright and sunny day that weekend when Ian called Debbie and invited her over, he knew that Fiona was the one that would push through and invite herself over like she had but his other siblings had been giving him time, little phone calls and the like.

"Hey, Big brother, What's up?" She asked answering the phone.

"Hey, What are you doing today Debbs?" he asked  
"Hmm, well, rocking this little shit to sleep at the moment." She said laughing lightly and he shook his head.  
"Well if you and the little shit, and even that new boyfriend of yours want to come over for a cook-out later today, I'd be game," he asked for some reason nervously.  
"Hmm, You okay with Carl and his girl coming? He's out back bitching about us not having gone grocery shopping or some shit," she said laughing.  
"Yeah, Yeah, that would be okay, I'd like to see you guys," he said lightly.  
"we'd love to see you too shithead, just wanted to give you some time with your love over there. wouldn't want to hone in on that post-prison banging for Mickey, I know he can get cranky" she said laughing.

"See you tonite Debbs." he said laughing back at her.

\----------------------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there it is. I am currently working on an outline for the remainder of this fic so maybe in the next few chapters i will have a better idea of how many chapters there are left for this one. As always, I love all of you, who read and reply to any of my fics. You are the reason's I write, well that and my obsession with two amazing characters, who's actors made us fall in love with them. ;)


	10. Awkward encounters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More family time leads to awkward encounters.

Chapter 10:

Family time turned out to be something that Ian needed that he wasn't aware of. The time with Debbie and Carl had been fun, just a small cook-out. Little family get-togethers hadn't been as overwhelming as maybe a family dinner would have been for Ian, easing back into being surrounded by Gallaghers had been a good idea. Debbie had even brought Liam with her to the cookie which he was glad for. He missed that kid. The only one that hadn't made it over yet was Lip, they had talked on the phone and all but lip was super busy and swore that he would be over soon. He really wanted to see his brother and he wanted to see Mandy too, who he hadn't heard from in a while.  
How ironic would it turn out that they would show up on the same day? Lip had finally found free time to come out and visit and there they were sitting and chatting, after sitting and practically staring at each other for the first twenty minutes, finally, Mickey had been the one to break when he walked into the room looking back and forth between the two boys. "For fucks sakes you two, Fucking talk. If I come in here one more time and see you two staring at each other like a couple of pussies, I'm going to start throwing punches." Mickey grunted and walked out. This spurred the two brothers into a fit of laughter.

"Shit, man. I just don't know what to say to you, and since when is that true. We weren't just brothers fuck, we were best friends." Lip finally said after his laughter quieted down. Ian nodded.

"I'm not going to break if you say something I don't like Lip. I know for a while, yeah that was the case, I am a shitty brother sometimes, but shit, I'm good now. I'm not all rainbows and sunshine or any shit like that but I am you know, kind of me." He said letting out a breath. That was all it really took. Lip told him about his college shit, and finally working his own shit out, and Ian told him what he could about going off the meds or how that felt and about Mickey. It was finally feeling like they could breathe again.

Then suddenly, all the clear air became cloudy again. Not so much for Ian personally because seeing his best friend walking through the door made him actually happy but he saw it in Lip's eyes. It wasn't even that he froze in mid-sentence, talking randomly about a party from the weekend before, it was more than that, his whole body froze like he was seeing a ghost. Ian looked at his brother confused. It wasn't like this was the first time since the break-up that they had seen each other, but it certainly felt like it. Mandy wasn't much better he noticed as she froze just at the entryway of the room and stared directly at Lip.

Mickey walked into a quiet room again rolling his eyes, he was about to start yelling at the brothers to move on from their own shit, mainly just to see Lip jump, which he somehow still fucking enjoyed but then he noticed the presence of his sister. He watched as Ian slowly got up backing away from the couch and looked over at him, his eyes begging for Mickey to do something to pull their respective siblings out of whatever trance they had gotten themselves into. Mickey shrugged and walked over to his sister pulling her up into the air.  
"Hey, Bitch, where have you been?" he said. She seemed to pull her eyes out of Lip's grasp and hugged her brother laughing.  
"Dickbreath, I'm here now. Excuse me if I was trying to steer clear of all of the make-up fucking you two have so obviously been doing lately," she said laughing looking over at Ian as she was placed back down.

"Oh fuck off, mands. We aren't that bad!" he exclaimed causing Mickey to roll in laughter.

"Lies, Lies. If there is one thing any of us can be sure of, no matter what fucked up shit you got between the two of you, Fucking is where it's always going to lead." Lip said smirking, obviously avoiding Mandy's gaze.

Mickey looked back and forth again. "Oh fuck this. So we up for some fun? Cuz this shit..." h said pointing at his monitor. "comes off in like a month and then this life of luxury is over, so let's enjoy some shit, that is if you two weirdo's can stop being so fucking weird." he said.

They didn't stop being weird. Ian could tell they were trying but when they all went down to the pool, it was like a quiet before a sudden storm, at least that's what it felt like. It sort of made him wonder what it was like dealing with his and Mickey's storm of emotional shit all of the time. He leaned in close to his boyfriend and whispered. "Is this what it's like for everyone else around us when we're like..." He stopped trying to think of the right words.

"a shitshow? Yeah, I suppose it is. We should stop being that because this is fucking horrifying." Ian nodded silently agreeing and jumping up to throw Mandy in the pool. Distraction was the answer, except nothing was really working. After a few hours of trying to make it seem like they were fine with each other, Lip finally made up a semi-excuse and booked his ass out of the house, promising Ian to come back soon. He heard mandy's sigh of relief as she made her way closer to the two boys and laid herself out on one of the beach chairs.

Ian looked up at Mickey, who nodded and kissed his sister on the forehead and walked back up into the large house. "Alright, No siblings, now what the fuck was that?" Ian asked eyeing her.

"What are you talking about?" she asked not looking over at him.

"Mandy Milkovich, I'm talking about you and my idiot brother. And before you say it, It's not about a break up that happened years ago, I've seen you around him since then, so don't say that" he said.  
She just shrugged. "Nothing, Just don't like being around him is all," she said in avoidance.  
He got up and walked to her. "Don't bullshit me okay? Just be honest with me, you don't have to tell me what it exactly is, none of my business and all that, but this shit, it's not nothing, It's you and it's lip and it's something, I know I've been in my own shit for a while, but I'm fucking here, brother or not, I'll kick his ass if I need to," he said crossing his arms over his chest.  
"No, No. No need to go and beat his ass. I can do that all my own, in fact...." she stopped looking around, Ian was unsure if it was to make sure Mickey wouldn't hear her, or what exactly.  
"What, you kick his face in or something?" he asked curiously.  
"Or something," she said.  
"Mandy...Did you and Lip, fuck why am I asking this? Did you hook up with my fucking brother again?" he asked eyeing her.  
She shook her head. "No. Nothing like that, Not like he'd ever touch me again, he's been perfectly clear about it," she said shrugging.  
"Excuse me?" he asked confused. That didn't sound right. "He actually said that to you? When?" he asked feeling anger for his brother who he loved, but his best friend instinct was kicking up in him.  
"Not the exact words. Just the way he acts. You saw the shit right. He's like that a lot you know? Ever since you got out of the hospital, if I run into him, it's like he can't run from me fast enough. It's not like I tried to get with him or anything, seriously I'm not that stupid, Like I'd sign up for that bullshit again, So now I'm pissed because seriously Ian, Am I gonna have to deal with that shitthead running from me like I've got a disease every time he see's me? It's going to be a long life." She sighed putting her head down.

"Oh for fuck's sake, this is what it's like isn't it? With me and Mickey being how we are?" he asked.

"You and Mickey are different because everyone knows you'll work your shit out eventually, you love each other," she said simply.

"talk to him mandy," he said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Are you fucking kidding me, Ian? Did you not hear me? When I said he runs, did you think I was kidding, because he fucking does, even literally a few times, like actually took a mad dash in the other direction." she said looking at him like he was an idiot.

"So? Don't fucking let him. It's simple Mandy, there's a reason behind it okay? So next time, you deal with the shit. Or you can always ignore it and live a long life of family shit, because you are my family, as much as he is, and eventually that shit's gonna blow up, if you want an audience for that blow up, then sure leave it alone, if you'd rather keep that shit private, deal with it."

 

\--------------------  
After Mandy left, Ian went to find Mickey who was now just lounging on the couch. "For fuck's sake. I thought we were a shit show," he said laughing curling up next to Mickey.

"Oh we are firecrotch, but we eventually work our shit out, they will too," he said smiling.

Ian just laughed. "I have a feeling, working it out and blowing up and beating the shit out of each other isn't exactly the same thing." He said.  
"What are you talking about? They cant do that, that's totally our thing." Mickey said laughing.  
"Oh fuck off. " Ian shook his head standing up, causing Mickey to look at him curiously.  
"How about we skip the whole blow up? and you just blow me?" Ian asked smirking pulling Mickey up to stand up with him.  
"Shiiit, you think you've earned that kind of attention Red?" Mickey asked following his boyfriend up the stairs.  
"mmhmm, I have if you want to see what I think you've earned." That was all it took, Ian was slammed against the wall in the hallway. Mickey kissed him feverishly. "Mmm, Mick, come on, a couple more steps, and I'm all yours," he said.  
Mickey shook his head. "Fuck a couple more steps, Gallagher. I will have you right here," he said dropping to his knees.

"M...Mickey, seriously? Oh god, never mind, I don't care, just keep...fuck." Ian sputtered as Mickey gave Ian exactly what he had asked for. Ian relaxed against the wall, watching Mickey, which was almost even hotter than the act itself, because for a long time he never thought he would have this again, and that was something he just wasn't willing to chance again.  
Mickey smiled as he rocked back up onto his heels and faced his boyfriend. "Now about what I deserve Gallagher?" he smirks. Ian shakes his head and pulls his jeans up making his way the few steps into the bedroom and turns around, door wide open and completely strips down.

"You plan on coming to find out? or?" he says walking further into the room.

Mickey practically trips over himself making his way into the room. No way in hell he was letting Ian start without him.  
\---------------------------------------------

Ian wakes up at 2 am, not by choice but to his phone ringing. He tries to untangle himself from Mickey just enough to reach out for the phone but it drops to the floor. He grunts. Finally reaching his phone, he notices Mickey looking over at him. "Sorry." He whispers.  
"What?" he asks into the phone.

"Hey...Ian....are you busy? Is Mickey there?" he hears his brother slur.

"No, he went out, where the fuck do you think he is? Lip what's going on?" He asks looking over at Mickey who releases him from his hold so he can get up.

“Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt the lovemaking dude. I'm just, fuck, where am I?” He heard his brother say.

“Fuck lip, how drunk are you?” He asked pulling his pants on and a shirt ready to go and find his stupid brother.

“Mmm, not drunk enough to stop seeing her fucking face everywhere. Why is she everywhere Ian?” He said choking back a sob.

“Who's everywhere?” He asked already knowing the answer. “Where are you? Street name? Bar name?” He asked hoping it was close enough.  
“Umm. Dunno. There's a pretty neon sign. B..bur…fuck what does that say?” He asked himself even though Ian could hear him. Ian knew exactly where now. He wasn't too far.  
“Stay fucking there Phillip.” He said shaking his head. He leaned down to kiss Mickey who gave a silent nod. He held his hand over the phone. “Call Mandy. He's like a block from her..” He says as Mickey nods picking up his phone.

When Ian finally finds his brother, he's standing outside Mandy's apartment building, she is standing in front of him, trying to get him to follow her. “Come on Lip. Just come upstairs. Sleep it off, fuck. Ian will be here soon.” He hears her say as he approaches.  
“Nope, can't go up there. She's up there. You can't tell her okay? She can't know. I have to stay away.” He mumbles and Mandy looks at him confused finally spotting Ian.  
“Oh thank fuck. He won't listen to me.” She says as Ian nods going to hold his brother up.  
“Hey, buddy. Whatcha doing out here?” He asks.  
“Mmm. Dunno went for a walk, she's everywhere. Even up there. In her perfect apartment, with her perfect life. You won't tell her I was here right? I didn't mean to be.” He says sadly. It was obvious in his state he didn't understand the she, he was referring to was standing in front of him very much aware that he was standing in front of her building.  
“Help me get him in the car, I'll take him.” He says. Mandy shakes her head.

“That's stupid, my apartment is literally right there.” She says crossing her arms. “He can get over his shit. I have a couch. He can sleep it off and I can kill him in the morning, just help me get him up there.” She says. Ian stares at her for a minute thinking she's crazy but finally nods.


	11. What the....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lip has no clue what happend when he wakes up in an unfamiliar place? Will he piece it together, what happens when he calls Ian?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of a fun chapter.

Chapter 11: hangover what the fuck.

Lip shot straight up, hand automatically going to his pounding head. He looked around the room he was in. The décor seemingly familiar but the room itself was not. The bunched up comforter surrounding him and he was completely naked. “What the fuck?” He said.

Mickey pulled a sleeping Ian closer to him, being here with Ian was everything, it made all the bad shit better, that was the thing about Ian Gallagher, he took all the bad shit away. “Mmm, morning,” Ian says nuzzling into mickeys arms.  
“How late were you out?” Mickey asks curiously.

“Mm, not too long, got lip settled on Mandy's couch. Took for fucking ever, that fucker is heavy.” He says chuckling lightly.

“You just left that fucker with my sister?” He asks

“She insisted. I think she figures if she corners him, while he's hungover, she can figure out what the fuck is actually going on with him.” He shrugs turning over to face Mickey.

“What's there to know? He's a fucking pussy.” He says simply.

“Mickey…” Ian starts looking frustrated.

“Look Ian. I like him alright but when it comes to my sister, he's a dipshit. He can't keep pulling this shit. She's in love with him, she always has been, I want to kill the bitch from time to time but that's my blood, I will not hesitate to kick the shit out of him if he keeps up his shit.” He says sighing loudly. Ian just nods pulling Mickey close, if that's at all possible.

“I know Mick. Just let them figure out their shit. If they need us they'll call, until then, let's focus on something more fun, like us.” He wiggles his eyebrows and Mickey laughs “.

Lip looks around the floor for his clothes frantically. Where could they be? What the fuck happened last night? He slowly creeps towards the door opening it slightly looking out into the hallway, pulling. The sheet tighter around his body. He looks up at the wall and sees the pictures. Mandy and Ian, Mandy and Mickey, fuck…fuck…

Mandy looks up hearing Lip in the hallway, she turns off the stove finishing breakfast and grabs the pile of clean clothes she had placed on the chair. She makes her way to him looking at the pictures on the wall, he turns to her, a look of panic in his eyes. He's thinking of running, she can tell. She holds the clothes out to him. “Shower, the clothes are clean, then we eat.” She says walking back away from him.

When lip is dressed, he looks around the apartment, needing an escape. He has to get out of here, what the hell happened? Should he ask her? She doesn't seem pissed off, in fact, she seems amused, what's up with that? “Umm, hey.” He says shyly deciding to finally sit down across from her.

“How's your head?” She asks.

“Feels like I ran face first into a brick wall.” He says shrugging.

“Yeah, sorry about that. You're hard to maneuver when your fucking trashed.” She says smiling at him.

“Wait? I actually…you ran me into a wall?” He asks.

“Well…not exactly. You kind of face planted down my stairs. We tried to catch you…but we weren't fast enough.” She says piling the last of her pancakes in her mouth. Gesturing for him to eat.

“We?” He asks. Who else witnessed this shit.  
“Ian.” Lip stares at her for a while finally taking a bite of her delicious food.

“You called my brother?” He asks. She shakes her head laughing.

“Nope, you did. You don't remember anything do you?” He shakes his head wildly. “Well you called Ian, from down the block, drunk as fuck, he realized where you were so Mickey called me.”

“Fuck. So my brother just dropped me on your doorstep. Fuck I'm sorry.” He said running his hands through his hair.

“Nah it's all good. My place was closer. Like literally just up a flight of stairs. It was late.” He nodded at her curiously. Thinking of how to make this less weird.

“Did I do anything I should be umm, you know, anything embarrassing or stupid or just in general dickish?” He asks curiously. She didn't seem mad. But that didn't mean she wasn't. He found himself staring at her features while he waited for her to answer. God, she was beautiful.

She just shrugs. “Nothing I haven't witnessed before I'm sure.” She says picking up the plates bringing them over to the sink.

“Umm. I should go. Umm thanks for you know. Dealing with my drunk ass.” He says getting up.

She nods. “Sure. Anytime. One more thing Phillip.” She says sternly.

He looks at her questioningly. Phillip? This can't be fucking good.

“You going to stop treating me like shit now? You gonna get over whatever bullshit your harboring? Cuz I for one am fucking sick of it.” She says crossing her arms.

 

“That's it, I swear to god if one more person…---ring---- what the fuck!?!” Mickey grunts looking down at his phone. Ian let's out a fit of giggles. Both of their phones had been going off for the last hour non-stop, they had yet to answer them because they were busy.

“Just answer it,” Ian says through his laughter.

“I swear to god Mandy! I'm trying to get laid here! “ he screams into the phone.

“You can get laid anytime, literally, Ian lives with you and you can leave the house for another three weeks. So fuck off.” She says back. So he hangs up on her  
“Where were we?” He says smiling at a completely naked Ian. “Oh yes.” He says straddling his boyfriend and trailing kisses down his torso. –ring— “fucking hell.” Ian giggles again picking up his own phone.

“This better be good. Mickey might murder you.” He laughs into his own phone.  
“I fucked up Ian, like so fucking bad.” Lip whines into the phone.  
“What..happened…” Ian practically moans into the phone as mickeys lips reach their desired destination.  
“Are you seriously fucking right now?! I've been calling for an hour asshole. Tell your boyfriend his ass can wait. Considering I'm pretty sure I fucked his sister last night.” Lip yelled.  
Ian sat up abruptly, slapping Mickey lightly for him to stop.

“You fucking what?!? You fucked Mandy?” He said in shock. Mickey jumped out of bed grabbing his own phone to call his sister back.

“I'll fucking kill you, Gallagher!” Mickey yelled Dialing his phone.

“Thanks a fucking lot Ian. Now he's Pissed off, horny and protective. I'm going to die.” Lip grunted.

“Sorry, shit. Are you sure? Because when I left you couldn't even more, let alone fuck anything.” He said simply.  
“Well, I woke up fucking naked. In her bed. That fucking tell you anything.” He said aggravated.

“What did she say when you asked?” Ian said getting up out of bed slowly.

“Ask? Are you fucking crazy? Yeah, I totally was like, so mands, I know that I've been avoiding you, and I showed up at your place drunk as fuck but I don't remember anything, did we fuck? Was it good? How about, I've been avoiding you, to avoid this, so I'm sorry to bang and leave.” Lip rambled on.

“Wait a minute…you've been actively trying to not bang her? What the fuck lip? Did you just run out before she woke up?”

“No, she was already up, it was awkward but she didn't say anything. Except telling Me to stop being a dick and avoiding her. That was it. I have no clue what happened.” Lip finished. Ian shook his head as he put on his boxers and traveled down the hallway to find his boyfriend, intent on finding out if he was planning on murdering his brother.

“Calm down okay? Just fucking talk to her. It's Mandy, this wouldn't be the first time you fucked her. Just fucking ask her what happened?” Ian said.

 

“Oh, now you want to talk to me? You get done banging my best friend, you fucking pillow biter.” She yelled into the phone.

“Excuse me for trying to get laid. I'm sorry that your cranky ass already got yours and now your trying to ruin mine.” He snapped.  
“Already…what? What the fuck are you talking about?” She asked

“Your bedfellow has been calling and interrupting all morning too. For fuck's sake. Why you gotta go and fuck him again anyway?” He asked his sister. He expected a snarky reply instead Mandy barreled out in laughter.

“You…you think… Oh, that's good. You think I fucked lip? That would have been rich, sorry bro, I don't make a habit of raping passed out assholes. No matter how sexy they are.” She said in a fit of giggles.

“If you didn't fuck him, why does he seem to think you did?” Mickey rolled his eyes.

“Seriously? Oh god. That fucking idiot. No wonder he was being all shady. I thought he was just avoiding me as usual. Mick, don't say anything, please. This is gonna be so fun. Please….” She begged.

“What the fuck ever. Can I go get laid now?” He asked annoyed.

“Oh god grumpy, go fuck your boyfriend. Tell Ian I said hello.” She said hanging up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for all of your support. I was thinking of wrapping this up quickly but I'm suddenly inspired. I should have a better idea of chapter number in a few weeks when I finish the outline.


	12. Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner party from hell?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was a little fun for me. I wanted to have some light in this for a chapter or two. It was fun. Kept messing up the names tho. Forgot character names. Hope I fixed them all.

Chapter 12:

“Who's fucking idea was this?” Mickey moaned.  
“Shut up, this shit is on all of us. Don't you remember?” Serenity said putting her head in her hands.  
“Let's have a family get together, just a few from each…” Ian whined.  
“Yeah and see how well that fucking worked out.” Mickey retorted.  
“How did we go from inviting one or two of them, to all of them coming. Like fuck.” Ian said looking around the room that was currently set up for a lavish fucking party.  
“Seriously I'm not even whining anymore, I want to know who to kill? “ Mickey said.  
“Would you idiots cut it out. It's not that bad.” Aiden spoke with laughter edging on his voice.  
“I blame you!” Serenity says to her husband. “This is all your fault.” She sighs loudly.  
“My fault? So I invited all of them, did I? I came up with this plan? “ he says eyeing her.  
“Fuck off. Your mother is coming, and that my dear is all of your fault.” She snapped, banging her head on the counter.  
“Is it too late to tell them we all caught some horrible disease and cancel?” Mickey asked curiously. As the doorbell rings.  
“Fuck, guess so,” Ian says.

 

Slowly one by one piled in an army of people, literally. In looked like they were gearing up for battle, and perhaps they were. Ian observed his family along with Kev and vee in one corner, off to the side sadly were frank and Monica. Who the fuck Invited them? A little ways away stood Mandy and the Milkovich brothers behind her. And that would have been enough. Two southside families that at one time had been so close to mingling Into one on most counts, it would have been fine, maybe a few fists flying but fine none the less but then there was Aiden’s family. Not that they were all bad. His siblings seemed nice enough, his father seemed quiet but then there was his mother, fuck if serenity wasn't right about her, the woman was scary and snooty and a total bitch. She had spent the first twenty minutes she was here, talking down to serenity and her work, even got in a few jabs about bipolar disorder, causing Mickey to practically leap across the room at her.

Finally, they all sat down to dinner. Mickey was eyeing the old woman, she was exactly what he hated about the upper class. Snooty bitch thought just because she had money, that she was better than everyone. It was seriously getting on his nerves. He saw her eyes widen as he scratched his ankle earlier, revealing his device, she hadn't said anything then, but of course, that couldn't last long.

“So are you Serenity’s latest project? Reverting the ex-con serenity? Around my grandchildren?” Mickey rolled his eyes at the woman.  
“Lillian…” the man next to her warned.  
“What Kyle? I'm not allowed to inquire about the people living under the same roof with my son? With his children?” Kyle shook his head sighing.  
“We are not doing this Lillian. Your son, our son, seems perfectly fine with this young man being here. Are you saying you distrust his judgment?” He asked quirking an eyebrow almost as if he knew she would never voice such a thing.  
“Well he did marry me, that speaks volumes about his judgment, doesn't it?” Serenity said gritting her teeth.  
“That's not what I said Serenity.” Lillian balled her fists showing some of her frustration.  
“Actually you did. Lady, you've done nothing but trash talk Mickey and my brother here since you walked in.” Lip spoke up.  
“How did I once say anything about your brother?” She asked, obviously confused.  
“It's fine. You didn't mean to anyway. Lip. It's fine.” Ian spoke softly.  
“No, it's not. How did she not mean to she's been going off about your disorder, off and on all night.”  
“Lip…” Ian warned.  
“Wait? You…you have…” Lillian stammered.  
“Oh my god. It's happened, she's having a stoke. This is the best family dinner I have ever.” The youngest Lane girl spoke, looking about Ian's age. “Can you do me a favor?” She asked pointing to Ian and Mickey. “Can you two start making out. That'll send her over the fucking edge.” She giggled a little.  
“Oh, I like this one,” Mandy spoke up.  
“Mia…” Aiden started looking at his sister.  
Serenity burst out laughing. Causing a room of people to look at her like she was crazy. Mia joined her causing Lillian to scoff.  
“Mom.,” Aiden said looking over at his mother.  
“I didn't…” She said looking down.  
“Mom, don't. Just because you didn't know he was bi-polar doesn't excuse you from saying what you did about Serenity's job.” Aiden said sternly. She just nodded.  
“Well, this is a shit show if I've ever seen one.” Iggy quipt.  
“I like him,” Mia said laughing.  
“Oh yeah, sweetcheeks. How much?” Iggy said smiling. Mickey smacked him.  
“Not that much playboy.” She giggled.  
“What?” He asked looking around getting a knowing glare from Mandy.  
“Really iggs. Hitting on the girl. In front of both of her brothers. Real smooth.” Mandy said laughing.  
“And her parents.” The other brother stated laughing. “Good luck buddy. She'll eat you alive.” He said.  
Mia smacked her brother on the arm. “Jeez Jake, Shut it,” she said laughing.  
The mood was suddenly lighter. The room of siblings giving each other shit was somehow comforting. Ian smiled watching the scene before him. After dinner, Kyle apologized for his wife and excused them to usher her out. Leaving the rest of them cleaning up.

“So, gay and bi-polar huh?” Mia asked next to Ian. He nodded. “That's a shit deal. You seem to be handling it well.” She said simply. She kind of reminded him of Mandy.  
“You just put it all out there don't ya?” He asked.  
“That's me. Blunt as shit. Kinda have to in this family, or else you'll spend your life doing what everyone else wants you to do, that ain't no way to live.” She said.  
“I guess. I wouldn't really know, didn't grow up the way you did.” He said.  
“Bullshit.” She said.  
“Excuse me?” He asked.  
“You think because I have money, that makes it all different? Nah, family is family. No matter where you come from, you gotta fight battles either way. Sure I had a better go of it money wise, that doesn't make my situation any better or worse, just different. Not all of us are like my mom, some of us don't think we're better just because we didn't grow up on the south side. Some of us give a damn about everyone regardless.” She said placing her hand on his shoulder. “In fact, it's kind of amazing you know? You going through that shit and still being here. Serenity respects you, she doesn't let a lot of people on you know? Not really, that alone is enough to know you and your boyfriend got something pretty special going on around here.” He just nodded.

“Okay, the rents are gone, people. Time to party!” Aiden said from the living room.

“Where are the kids?” Ian asked

“That one chick took them upstairs,” Colin said shrugging.

“Marina. My sister. She and her hubby took them to the kids playroom.” Aiden said.

“So..party?” Mickey asked.

“What better way than to forget this awkward as shit gathering. Let's get shit faced!” Mia hollered bringing in bottles with her.

“Jesus woman, where'd you get all that booze?” Mickey asked.

“She owns a bar.” Serenity laughed. “It's like her party favors.”  
“You're officially my new best friend,” Mandy said laughing.

 

Ian sat on the couch curled up next to Mickey, watching Iggy shamelessly flirt with Mia. Mickey was laughing so hard he couldn't breathe. “Man, this is so good. Like he has no fucking game dude.” Mickey barreled in laughter.  
“You think that's good. Have you been watching my brother tonite? He looks like he's gonna jump out a window. Look at that shit.” Ian said. Mickey turned his head to lip who was standing at the counter, watching Mandy and biting his lip.  
“He still think they fucked?” Mickey whispered.  
“I'm guessing so. At least he looks like he does. I'm staying out of that shit.” Ian said. Mickey sighed and walked over to his sister.  
“Yo skank. When you gonna put him outta his misery?” He asked.  
“What? Oh, him. I dunno, I figure when he actually has the balls to walk over here and speak to me. Until then, fuck him, let him stew." She shrugs walking off.  
\------------------------  
\----------------------------

Ian couldn't help himself, as much as he said he would stay out of it, his brother looked pathetic.

"You gonna talk to her, or continue hiding?" Ian asked.

"Not hiding, asshole, I'm sitting right here. just don't want to ruin her fun, with my bullshit," he said shrugging.  
"The fuck are you talking about? Just ask her about what happened, then get the fuck over it. You act like you never woke up in her bed before." Ian rolled his eyes.  
"It's not about that. Fuck...It's stupid okay. I spent so long avoiding her because I knew this shit would happen, What is it with us and Milkoviches huh? It's like some kind of fucked up pull, and I can't take the shit anymore." lip said sighing.  
"Woah, Woah, Phillip Gallagher...Did you just...You fucking...I can't even say it. Fucking talk to her dumbass. You treated her like shit back when, but she loved you, and she's been trying to be your friend, and you've been a fucking douche. So how about instead of avoiding her, because you had some drunken fucking hook up or whatever it was, how about you man up." Ian said shaking his head.  
\----------

"You can stop that," Mia said rolling her eyes.  
"What you talking about?" Iggy asked.  
"Oh for fuck's sake man, I can't watch this shit anymore. I'm outta here." Colin said, gaining nods from his brothers.  
Iggy just shrugs looking over at Mia. He knew he was being an idiot, shitty pick-up lines and all but she was something. She was definitely someone he wanted to get to know but how do you do that. How do you get to know a north-side girl with everything in the world? So he just stuck to the shitty come-on's that he knew she would ignore. No real risk there.  
"You gonna stop being an annoying prick yet?" She asked quirking an eyebrow at him. "  
"Excuse me princess?" he said getting annoyed himself.  
"Now that your brothers are cleared out. and nobody is really paying attention anymore, you gonna stop acting like those bullshit lines are gonna work on me and try being real for a minute?" She asked crossing her arms.

"You really are something. Talking to someone like me like that," he said simply.  
"Someone like you? Oh please. Look here.." She said walking up to him pointing her finger at him. "You may be cute, but you ain't that cute. You wanna pull that, I'm a southside thug shit with me, you can just forget it. I will not hesitate to call you on your bullshit, got it." She then handed him a piece of paper. "Here Milkovich, when you pull your head out of your ass and decide to be fucking real with me, give me a call, until then, don't even think about it. Let me warn you're though, If you use that number, you get one shot, that's it, I don't mess around, I ain't got time for that shit." She said smirking and walking toward her brother to say goodbye.

Iggy shook his head as he watched her walk out. "The fuck was that Iggs." Mickey said from behind him.

"Man, I'm gonna marry that girl." he said and Mickey laughed shaking his head.  
\--------  
Everyone had fucked off to wherever they had, probably their rooms, most of the guests had left, that left lip sitting on the couch and mandy was sitting out by the pool with her feet in the water. Lip finally grunted and headed out there.  
"Hey mands, you got a minute." he asked from the door.  
"Oh what, you actually gonna talk to me? fucking miracle." she snapped.  
"Shit, I'm sorry okay. It's kinda hard to talk to you sometimes okay?" he said.  
She shrugged. "I didn't rape you okay. That what you want to know. I didn't take advantage of you. Mystery solved." she said kicking at the water.  
"Wait...What? I never said...What the fuck Mandy." he said confused.

"That's what you think right?? That you came over to my place, all fucked up and came on to me and I was just so desperate to have you again that I went for it. Well it's not okay. We didn't fuck. So stop being weird." she said.  
He walked over to her and sat down beside her and pulled her face to look at him. "I never said that Mands, even if something would have happened, I never would have thought you took advantage of me okay? You think it takes any amount of being fucked up to be with you? You think I don't think about being with you like that every time I'm around you?" He said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.  
"Excuse me?" she asked.  
"Look, I know me and you we've been done for a long, long fucking time Mands. And that's fine but sometimes I have to avoid you okay, sometimes I have to walk away because sometimes, all I can think about it fucking you senseless...and..." He was cut off by a light punch in the arm.  
"You fucking kidding me? That's why you've been so weird? Dick. You could have just told me." She said shaking her head laughing.

"Oh yeah because that's not embarrassing. Okay fine, stubborn ass. Mandy Milkovich, every time I see you, I want to rip your clothes off and have my way with you? fucking happy now?" he said glaring at her.  
She beamed at him. "Well, atleast it was fucking honest asshole. You can't do that shit to me okay? You fucked me over okay? That shit is over, but fuck you for thinking avoiding me was the answer alright? We are family, as fucked up as that is, our brothers may fuck their shit up every so often, but that shit is forever, which means, you can't be doing that shit. No matter what happens here, you can't do that shit. okay?" she says simply.

"Yeah...wait, what do you mean? what happens here?" he asked curiously.

"Oh, don't even think about it, Phillip. I'm not a kid anymore, I'm not gonna fuck you right here. You want this? It ain't that easy Gallagher, you gotta fucking work for it." She said smirking at him and getting up and heading back towards the house.  
\-------------------------------

Ian walks down the hallway towards the kitchen to get a drink of water and sees his brother and his best friend talking. Well that's something, isn't it? "You spying on them Gallagher," Mickey says from behind him.  
"Nah, water. Those two are idiots ya know?" he said smiling.  
"And we weren't?" Mickey asks.

"Oh no, we definitely were. Still are sometimes. but it's all worth it, being here with you right now." Ian says smiling.  
"Got that right. It's all worth it when I'm with you." Mickey says.  
"did it hurt for you to say that? because that was fucking sweet as hell." Ian says.  
"Actually yes it did. Physically hurt for me to be that sappy."  
Ian laughs wrapping his arms around his boyfriend and pulling himself into a kiss.

"Oh for fuck's sake you two, can't go anywhere without your lovey dovey shit," Mandy says as she walks into the house. Then she smiles widely at them before heading out.

"Love you too bitch!" Mickey says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you for reading. Love you all:


	13. Into the Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey can't shake the feeling that something bad is coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been working on this for a while and I don't know.

Chapter 13:

The feelings of dread start out of nowhere. At first it's nothing. At least that's what Mickey tells himself. He's so close to getting off house arrest. So he figures it has something to do with that. Nothing has actually happened to cause it. Not so far, and it's just moments. Moments where he suddenly Feels like someone is watching. Moments where he feels himself still for a minute and his blood runs cold. But it's nothing. He shakes his head and goes on with it. So what if he feels slightly uneasy when Ian leaves the house.

It gets worse though.  
The nightmares begin almost suddenly. Mickey doesn't quite understand what's happening, Everything would be perfect except, the nightmares begin, at first he doesn't know that's what they are. The darkness in the dream feels familiar, but not so real. The first night that's all it is, darkness like he's running through the woods or some creepy horror movie. He wakes up in a huff but sighs in relief when he sees Ian laying beside him. That calms him and he falls back asleep.

The next night it's worse because he understands it, the creepy darkness, the feeling of despair, it's because the darkness is Terry. Terry coming into view causes him to scream out violently in his sleep. He wakes up to Ian Holding him tighter. He falls back asleep and it continues. Each time he falls asleep worst than the last. He doesn't understand it. He even calls to check and make sure that Terry's still locked up. What the hell is happening? He was fine, he was happy. He is happy.

 

It's after his father calls to spew his disgusting form of hate that The dream becomes more intense. And that's when he realizes why it's a nightmare. It's the third night when the dream gets far enough to realize, it's not about Terry hurting him, it's Ian, in the dream, Ian is being ripped away from him while Terry laughs meniacly and it's terrifying, as he watches Terry take Ian from him, in the dream he watches as his father, the sadistic bastard torchers the man he loves, when Mickey wakes up that night, he trails his hands over Ian's face, checking for bruises, for cuts. For any signs that his nightmare came to life but it doesn't. And he sighs in relief, he won't let Ian leave his side that day.

Ian starts to worry after a few days of this. He doesn't know what's going on with Mickey, but Mickey looks terrified every time Ian mentions leaving the house. And that alone terrifies Ian. What could it possibly be? He was fine, everything was fine but there was something tearing him up and he really needed to know what it was before something went terribly wrong.

“What's going on?” He asks Mickey.

“What do you mean?” Mickey asks averting his eyes.

Ian shrugs and then “I have to go out for a while.” Ian says and Mickey jumps, pulling Ian close to him. Panic all over his face.

“W..what for?” Mickey says holding his boyfriend tight.

“This is what I'm talking about. You're freaking out. You think I'm cheating or something?” He asks.

“No. What I can't want you around? Fine. Leave.” Mickey snaps.

“Not what I said. Something is wrong Mickey. I just want to know what it is. I can't fix whatever it is if you won't tell me what's going on.”

Mickey sighed unwilling to let his boyfriend know about his paranoia. “It's nothing really. Just a little anxious to get out of this house. Only have a week left, with this thing” he says pointing at his ankle.

“Okay. If you're sure that's all it is. You know I have group tomorrow and work. I'll be gone all day. I just…are you sure you're okay?” Ian asks.

“Yeah, I'm good. No worries. Promise.” Mickey says biting the inside of his jaw, hoping Ian believed him. He would just have to suck it up tomorrow. Keep the anxiety under control. After all, he was just stir crazy. That's at least what he kept repeating in his head.

\--

As group ended Ian held back a little to get a few moments with serenity. “Hey, Ian. What's up?” She asks.

“Um. You notice anything with mick lately?” He asks.

“Specifically? Or in general” she asks almost knowingly. M

“All around. I mean with me. I guess. He's just been. I don't know, a little anxious or something. He's worrying me. Everytime I leave the house. He just freaks out I think. He says it's nothing but I don't know. I just get this feeling like somethings wrong.” She seems to think it over.

“Anything else?” She asks.

“There's nightmares. He won't talk about it, but he screams out. I can't make it out. But it's been happening for at least a week. I don't know what to make of it. He's never had them before. He's never seemed this…I don’t know…on edge.” He says.

“Nightmares.” She breathed like it was familiar. “Okay. I'll talk to him. Tonight. I promise.” She says and Ian nods feeling a little better before he takes off to go to work.

\--  
Ian is feeling a little cloudy, and he sighs. He knows it's just a bad day but he can't help but fear that one day, just a bad day will turn into something more. Something he can't handle and that scars the hell out of him, especially with Mickey being so anxious as of late. He sighs and makes his way into work.  
\--

the wind is swirling, strong, feels like a storm is brewing, coming in fast. Mickey looks around. Looking for some kind of shelter, he can't find it, he can't see much of anything, it's so dark. What is he doing in the woods? His eyes widen as his fathers face comes into view. Dark, terrifying. “Hey boy!” He hears the sound and he can't breathe, he turns to run but stops when he hears. “Mick….” It's Ian, in the distance somewhere. It's Ian. He has to get to Ian.

He turns back around. And Terry isn't there so he runs, calling out for Ian, trying to find him. He looks out over a ledge he’s on and there down below is Ian. He fucking hanging by one arm, which is tied to something..a branch? Maybe. “Ian!!” He calls out. His body freezing at the sight of blood tripping off of his boyfriend.

“Should have stayed away from my boy.” He hears Terry snarl. “You poisoned my boy, now he's gonna watch as you die,” Terry yells from somewhere. But where? Mickey can't see him, if he could see him, maybe he could get to him, save Ian. But he doesn't even know how to do that. His ankle is stuck. In something, he tries to get to the edge to lower himself down but his body won't let him. He considered find something to chop his ankle off but doesn't. He screams out, he has to get to him, he has to, Terry is finally in view, walking all the rocks where Ian is dangling from, with a knife in his hand. “Nooooo!!!!” He screams out.

 

Mickey wakes up, sitting straight up in bed, no Ian. “Fuck! Ian. No. I have to get to you.” He says to himself really. Dialing his boyfriend's number. Maybe that will make him feel better if he hears his soothing voice in the other end. Maybe he'll even FaceTime to show Mickey his face. Maybe it's time to tell him, that Terry is after them. He knows he is, he can feel it. But there is no answer. Logically Mickey should I call someone else but he doesn't he calls the police.

Since when does Mickey Milkovich call the police? Never that's when, not like it helps, something about missings person reports and a certain about of hours. Total bull hockey. He can't think. “You won't come huh? I bet this will make you come.” He says glaring at the phone and makes a dash towards the door. He wonders how far he will get before his monitor goes off, he's never thought to test it. Never had a reason to. But he does and he runs down the stairs out the door, he runs at full speed until he hears it. He almost doesn't stop but he does. Collapses against the ground and calls out for Ian.

 

“Hello?” Serenity says into her phone.

“Um. Mrs. Lane. This is officer Herline.” He says and she recognizes that.

“Oh hey, Jim. What's up?” She asks.

“You are listed as Mickey Milkovich' residence. I mean, he was released in your custody correct?” He says.

“Yes.” She starts to worry.

“And he's home now?” He asks.

“Of course.” She answers.

“Is he in your sight? In the house or in the yard?” He asks.

“I'm at work. Jim…talk to me.” She says.

“He's running serenity. His monitor has been going off for a bit. There's a team on their way to your house.” He says.

“Fuck. He wouldn't run. I know him. Something must be wrong. He must…just give me a chance. He's only got a week left. Please. Call the police and tell the. He isn't running, he's just freaked out. He's been having some issues.” She says thinking back to what Ian had said.

 

“Mr. Milkovich?” The officer asks, or one of them. Mickey is surrounded by a swat team now.

Mickey looks up, tear-stained face. “Ian! You have to find Ian! He's in danger.” he calls out.

“Sir. I need you to calm down.”

“No! Call Ian, find him. My dad has him. I know he does! Save him.” He yells.

“Sir, did you run out here on purpose? So that we would find your friend?” The offer asks

“My boyfriend. And my father is a homophobic psychopath and he has him!!” He yells.

“Okay okay. Well, make some calls okay kid? You are gonna have to answer for this. You can't just do this.”

“Fine lock me back up. Just as long as he's okay.” Mickey cries.

\--

“Hey, Serenity what's up?”

“Hey mands, you saw Ian?” She asks getting into her car. She had already talked to Jim and he informed her she needed to get home. Mickey was having a fucking meltdown. Nothing would make it better right now but Ian.

“He's at work.”

“Yeah I know. Can you get to him. Fast. You're closer than I am. He needs to get home. Mickey needs him.” She says.

“Yeah I'll go now. What's going on?”

\--

Mickey looks up and people are runing toward him. It's the gallaghers. But no Ian.

“Oh no. It was too late. No.” He whispers crying harder. He watches, waiting for them to say it, he knows he'll lose his shit, as soon as the words are said.

“Mickey…” Lip starts. “Mickey…” Debbie says calmly.

“Ian…” Is all he says.

“He's on his way,” Fiona says sweetly. Mickey shakes his head.

“Terry got to him.” He calls out.

“Fuck.” He hears lip whisper as he picks up his phone

 

“I'm on my way. How is he?” Ian asks.

“You gotta hurry man. You gotta hurry. He needs to see your face. He… fuck, Ian, he snapped.” Lip says.

“Lip…” Ian warns.

“I'm not fucking playing man. He said Terry, has you. He thinks…He hasn't said so, but that look, man he thinks your dead. Get your ass over here before they lock him up.” Lip hangs up as he sees Mandy running with her brothers towards Mickey.

“What the hell is going on?” Mandy asks. Looking down at her brother and back to Lip. He pulls her into his arms.

“He needs Ian. He thinks terry has him.” And lip heard a collective fuck from the brothers.

“Is he having nightmares?” Colin asks. And lip shrugs.

Just then serenity pops up. “Ian here yet?” They shake their heads.

“Look. I'm gonna make sure he doesn't get thrown back in jail. Colin, go to him. He's having nightmares. Ian said he didn't know what it was about.” She says and he nods.

“It's about Terry.” Lip says and he sees her mouth. Fuck.

\--

“Listen. He's fine. Not running. You can't take him in like this.” She argues with an officer.

“Mam. He set off his tracking device on purpose. That's a misuse of police…”

“Yeah yeah. I know. Look at him. Does he look like he can handle jail right now. If you take him away, you're just gonna make it worse. He needs to see Ian. I'm…il his psychiatrist.” She lies.

“Call the station. Jim knows me. He called me. Okay? I'll take care of it.” She says. “And make sure Terry Milkovich is locked up tight. He's convinced he got out. We need him to know he's wrong.” She says.

Finally after twenty minutes of arguing they officers finally agree to wait to make a decision on Mickey, and serenity makes her way over to her friend.

“How is he?” She asks Colin and he just shakes his head.

“Mickey. Hey sweetie, talk to me.” She says calmly as if she was taking to a child.

“Ian…he. He has him. We have to save him, you have to make them find him before it's too late blu. Is it too late?” He finally asks.

“No sweetie. Ian is fine. Okay? He had to go to work today. Do you remember?” She asks and he stares at her for a minute and nods.

“Yeah. Terry didn't get him okay. I promise. Do you remember when we were kids? The dreams.” He nods again. “They weren't real. Remember?” She says.

“They were. He got you. I just didn't know.” He says sounding like the broken child he once was.

“But I'm still here okay? Terry is in jail. Do you remember that?” She asks. He shakes his head.

“He got out. I don't know how but he did blu. He always gets out. He's taunting me, telling me what he's gonna do to him. You have to save him okay? My Ian." he cries softly.

"Hey.Its okay. We're gonna get him here okay. I need you to step back okay? Just a couple of steps. Your monitor is still going off. okay?" She softly says.

"They wouldn't look for him. They said he wasn't gone long enough. They wouldn't but they had to come look for me. I knew they would." He rambles and she sighed. praying that Ian would show up soon.  
\--

Mickey listened to serenity as she explained that it wasn't okay to make the police come here, and he tried to understand but Ian, he needed Ian to be okay. They say he's fine, he doesn't believe them. They didn't see what he saw. He was shaking now. Rocking back and forth, he hadn't felt so out of control in years. he closed his eyes, to drown out the sounds.

\--

Ian ran, he ran as soon as he got close enough to the house. Swerving in and out of police cars and ran up to the huge lawn. He stopped for a second when he saw him. collapsed on the front lawn, family and friends all around him, trying to talk him down. What the hell had happened? Ian knew he should of done something, that this wasn't normal for him to be acting like this, and now, he had to get to him. He is stopped for a second by an officer.

"Sir.." He starts.

"I need to get to him. He needs to know I'm okay. It will be fine when he knows it's me." he says.

"Your Ian?" Ian nods to the man who then lets him through and he looks at his family who all back away, even serenity gets up and backs up a few steps. giving him a look that says, it's gonna be a long fucking night. So Ian kneels down to make sure Mickey will see him when he looks up. and he grabs his hand.  
\---  
Mickey's eyes snap up at someone touching him. Thinking he is about to be arrested. Not until they find...

"Ian?" He croaks out.

"Yeah Baby. I'm here. It's me."


	14. Evaluate me, Doc.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey has to undergo a psych eval, to determine his future. He's not exactly happy about it..

Chapter 14: 

“Ian?”   
“Yeah baby. It's me. Come here.” Ian says pulling Mickey into his arms.  
“He didn't get you?” Mickey asks   
“No. He didn't get me. I'm right here. It was just a dream baby.” Mickey shakes his head.   
“No. Your not real.” Mickey says. 

“Mickey, look at me. Touch me. I'm right here. Terry is locked up. I checked myself. I'm right here.” He says pulling mickeys hands up to his face. And kissing him lightly. 

“I was…so scared. He didn't get you? He didn't.” Mickey says crying against ians chest. 

“Oh baby. Why didn't you tell me. Why didn't you tell me about the dreams, I'm so sorry I left you alone today. I would never leave you like that, you know.” Mickey clings to Ian as if his life depends on it and Ian feels the tears falling down his face. He looks up towards serenity with a silent question. 

“Can we take him back inside?” She asks looking up at the officer, who was been on the phone for the last few minutes. He lightly nods. 

“For now. His probation officer has been notified. From what I can tell, there will atleast be a psych eval, requested, but I'm it sure about anything else.” She nods at him and turns to Ian and nods. 

He wraps his arms around Mickey and picks him up to carry him inside. 

“Come on baby. Let's get you in bed.” He whispers to Mickey. Who just nods as his boyfriend Carries him up the stairs. In that moment for the first time, he really understands the other side of what happened when he got sick. He wants to hug his family, he wants to tell them all how sorry he is because this fear, is just as bad as his own fear.   
\--  
“They're sending a psych consult. I convinced them to do it here, but you have to talk to him Ian. He has to do this.” She says. 

“He's going to freak out.” He says standing outside the door. 

“If he refuses he goes back to prison. You think he can survive that…right now? I don't even know how this happened but he needs help Ian. He hasn't had nightmares since he was a child. There's a reason and we have to deal with that. He has to. But that's ultimately on him, the psych eval isn't a choice.” She says 

Ian nods. “I'll try. How long until they get here?” He asks. 

“I don't know.” Serenity says sadly. 

\--

“Hey..” Ian whispers into mickeys ears and Mickey stirs lightly.

“Ian?” He asks

“Yes baby I'm here. I need to talk to you okay?” He says. 

“Not now. I'm sorry I..freaked out. I'm better now.” He says. 

“No. You're not. But it's okay. It's okay. I'm so sorry about so much but I have to talk to you. There's some people coming…” He trails off. 

“Are they…locking me up again?” Mickey asks weakly.

“Not if I can help it but…if you want to stay out…you have to let the people ask you questions.” He says softly. 

“What people?” 

“Psychiatrist” 

“No! I don't need them. I'm fine.” Mickey yells.

“Mickey…I get it okay. You know that. Better than anybody. But they have to do an evaluation. It's better than jail right?” Mickey seems to think. 

“What if they take me away anyway, to a nut house?” He asks. 

“Hey, they're not so bad right? I've been there a few times. There's tv, you get a nice room, and I can come and visit, like a real visit, not behind some stupid glass wall for the next ten years. It's just a talk today, if..If they want to put you in a place like that...It'll be okay, because i'll be there, and It's really not too bad, just have to talk to people, that's all." Ian says. 

"And that's what you want? me to talk to them." he asks. 

"Yes baby. I need you to. Do you remember when I got sick, and you refused to believe it, and I refused to believe it, and we kind of just ignored it for a long time...that didn't help us did it?" Ian says. 

"No. But I...I'm not sick like you are..."Mickey's statement wasn't mean, it was just there. 

"No..Not exactly. You may not have a disorder..like mine, but something is in there...in that beautiful head of yours, it's scaring you, and I didn't even know it was there...I was so oblivious, and I'm so sorry for that, you know, It's so fucked up that it took this for me to understand even a second of what you went through for me, i thought I understood it, but I didn't, I was so scared today, when Mandy called, when I heard your voicemail, god, I was so fucking terrified, and...all I knew was I had to get to you, Mickey, I love you, and you once told me that means we are family and we take care of eachother...You took care of me...it's my turn okay? " and Mickey nods. 

"Okay...I'll talk to them...for you...I don't have to like it...I'm fine, it was just a bad dream, It was so real, but I know it wasn't. I'm good, but If it will keep me out, and if it's what you want me to do, I will." Mickey says slightly deflated. 

Ian kisses Mickey lightly and holds him until there is a knock at the door. 

"Guys...They're here...Are you ready?" and Ian looks at mickey who just shrugs. 

"Okay..Mick...I'll be right outside that door okay? I promise..I'm not leaving okay.." Mickey seems to think for a second. 

"You have to go...?" He asks, as two people enter the room. "Does he have to leave?" He looks up and asks the woman who is standing with her clipboard. 

"it is best, atleast for the first part of it, for you to answer the questions without anyone present. After that, if you are comfortable with him being in the room, I see no reason to deny you that."   
"So..You'll be outside, and just for a few minutes? You come back in?" Ian nods lightly. 

"Is it okay, if he...Um, needs me, or needs to know I'm here, I'll be right out there." She nods seeming to understand. 

Ian lightly shuts the door as she starts asking him about what happened today, and he sits on the floor against the wall. 

 

"He agreed to talk right...that's good Ian." Serenity says sitting beside him. 

"yeah..I guess..He wasn't convinced, he just, didn't want to go to jail or scare me. I don't know how far it'll go over in there though. How did I not know?" he asks. 

"Because we all have our shit Ian, Ive told you that, some of us, like mickey, hide it better than others. He's been through a lot of shit, and he never talks about any of it. Eventually having a father like Terry would catch up too us all." Ian nods. 

"But...He..god he looked so fucking lost and broken...I just...can you do me a favor..." She nods. 

"What is it?" 

"Is my family still here?" He asks. 

"yeah, they wanted to see how mickey was before they left. You want me to send them away.." 

"No...I want to see them. I don't want to go too far away from mickey in case he needs me, can you get them to come up and go to my room, I need to see them." he says and she nods.   
\----

"You wanted to see us?" Fiona asks as Ian walks into the room to greet them. "is he okay? They aren't sending him away are they?" she asks. 

Ian doesn't say a thing he just looks at his family and feel a tear fall down his face. "Come here, the whole lot of you assholes, come here." They just stare at him as he pulls all of his family into a hug. 

"Ian?" Lip asks. 

"Just shut up and hug me assholes." He says and they do. 

"I'm so fucking sorry. You guys...I...today I felt something, the fear that I felt, I just, it made me realize that every time I go off my meds, or end up in the hospital like last time, what it must do to you and I usually shut down, and refuse to even look at you guys and if he would have done that to me today, I would have...I don't know and I just ...thank you guys, for loving me, That man is everything, and I am so grateful he is okay, but...I'm so scared." He says sitting on the floor. 

The siblings held each other until, finally after a while, the man who entered with the psyciatrist poked his head in. "Mickey would like to see you now." He said. Ian nods and get up and goes into the room. Mickey is sitting cross legged on the bed, and the lady is in the chair. 

"Hey..." He says and mickey looks up and brightens. 

"He seems to do better with you here, want to sit down beside him." She says and he nods. 

"We had a nice little talk." She says. 

"What does that mean?" Ian asks. "Are..." He trails off not sure if he wants to know whatever she thinks she knows. 

"Mickey has a lot of demons, that much is obvious, but..." She seems to stop herself. 

"It's okay. Go ahead." Mickey gives her permission. 

"Okay, He has a lot to work through, which he is not ready to do, however, considering the outburst today, and from what he did seem okay to share, I am recomending that he not be send back to prison, however that because of what he did today, that means atleast a 72 hour hold at a facility, to better assess the situation..." She says lightly. and Mickey closes his eyes.

"Is it a specific one? Or ..." ian asks.

"Is there one you had in mind?" She asks curiously. 

"Umm, Kind of. I don't know, The last one I stayed in, it was nice, and the doctors there are really good, it's just Ive been to the one the court will probably send him too and it's not...I just...would rather that not be the one, i don't think it will help." he says remembering back to the place. 

"Okay..I'm sure we could arrange something, I know a few good ones, and I'm sure Ms.Lane has her own choices as well, she can't treat Mickey because of their relationship, but she does have a lot of friends, as well as myself in the field. would you like it if she recommended someone?" She asks mickey directly and he nods.\

 

"I trust Blu." He says softly and she looks at him questioningly. 

"He's talking about Serenity. That's what he calls her." she nods at that. 

"I'll talk to the judge okay? For now, You are still under house arrest here. Okay. For the night at least. That's not typical, but I would like to talk to serenity and get you set up somewhere. There will be officers outside just in case okay?" Mickey nods.   
\--   
the lady stays for a while and asks ian some questions which he answers, already used to how this line of questioning goes, and mickey talks, not a lot but enough to satisfy her for now, and she leaves. 

"hey that wasn't so bad, yeah?" Ian says. 

"What are you talking about? That was aweful. Is that what you have to do? Like all the time, when you talk to your shrink?" 

"Talk? Well yeah, I talk, she listens, She asks about my meds and how I feel, I tell her, then I just talk for a while. If there's anything i need to know or she's concerned about she tells me, and that's about it. It's different in those places a little tho, group sessions and shit. but it's not bad." Ian says.   
"Sounds awful to me, sitting around talking about feelings and shit all day. Oh fucking hell." mickey sighs and Ian pulls him in closer. 

"It's going to be okay...You have me...I'm okay, you're okay, and I love you." Ian says.   
Mickey's head shoots up and he smiles, a real smile. 

"I like when you say things like that, do it again." Mickey says and Ian laughs. 

"You have me...And I'm amazing and awesome, like look at me.." Ian laughs. 

"Oh fuck off , not the part where you are a conceited asshole." Mickey says. 

"I love you mickey." and he smiles again.   
"That's the one."


	15. Crazy pair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey is in therapy.

Chapter 15: A team of crazies...

Mickey sat up in his bed looking around. Just like every morning of the past two weeks it took a minute to adjust to the fact that this wasn't a dream, he was really in this place. He had really agreed to this, to being hospitalized and then sent here, not that the place wasn't nice, in fact it was a hell of a lot nicer than places he could have ended up, still didn't mean he had to like it. The tiny phone like device buzzed from the table and he picked it up quickly, already knowing who it would be..Ian. He was allowed to videochat with Ian on certain days, and soon, Ian would be there with him, he was scheduled for a visit the next day in fact. Mickey was happy about that.

“Hey.” He said lightly looking into the device. His boyfriends face filling the screen.

“Hey there. How are you feeling today?” Ian asks. He looks good, more well rested than the times before, atleast on the surface, his eyes looked tired, most people wouldn't be able to see it but he could, not only because he knew Ian so well but because he himself had worn those eyes a million times.

“I'm okay. Haven't had a panic attack in three days. Good right?” He says and Ian smiles.

“Yeah. That's great mick. Nightmares easing off?” He asks.

“Yeah. Still have em, but they don't terrify me as much. Don't know, what the fuck. I just…I'm sorry I freaked out like that.”

“Told you already, don't worry about it. I've done worse. You have some things to work through. It's normal. I'm permanently crazy, so…looks like we're perfect for eachother huh?” Ian says smiling and Mickey laughs.   
“That shouldn't be funny. You aren't crazy Ian.” He says.   
“I am. But I'm good with that. Who wants to be normal huh? That's boring.” Ian says smiling and Mickey smiles back at him.

“You still coming tomorrow?” Mickey asks  
“Of course. Try to keep me away.” Ian says.   
\--  
Ian paced the floor, hours before he was supposed to see mickey. He was nervous, he was usually the one in the bed, waiting for people to come and visit him, but to be the one, the one that had to make another person feel better, to make it all better, he knew it was impossible, but it was all you could really do. There was so much about this, that was suddenly becoming clear, how unfair he had been. To everyone, especially to Mickey. The flashes of what he had done, when he was sick, or even after, they were getting worse with mickey not around to calm him, He had abandoned the man he loved and sure they had worked through it, but could it really be okay?

\--

Mickey paced his floor a little and sat down. He had almost called Ian and told him not to come. He could be the supportive boyfriend, sit by ians side, tell him was okay while he was sick, but how could he ask Ian to do that for him? Ian had a disorder, he was sick and as far as Mickey was concerned he was being a pussy. He had a rough life, he had a shitty dad, who fucking didn't around here? But this crippling fear, was bullshit, and therapy and psych wards? This fucking sucked.

\--

Mickey looked up when the door creeked open. It was Ian, he didn't even need to look up. It was time for him to show up, and he had already had his session with his therapist, so he knew exactly who it was that was slowly stepping into his room, as if he was about to snap.   
"Hey." ian says shyly as if he doesn't know how to react, and maybe he doesn't, He isn't really sure what is going on in that beautiful red-heads brain.

"You can sit...I'm not going to have a break-down, or you know, break in general ya know?" He says.

"I know Mick...It's not that." He says sitting across the room in a chair.

"Then what? You haven't been this timid around me since you were fifteen and I was chasing you down the street for fucking with my sister." Mickey says smirking.

"It's just, being here, It does something to me, It reminds me what an asshole I was. You were all worried about me, scared for me, and I didn't...I just didn't care. It's completley different on this side of it, and It scares the hell out of me. and of course I'm worried about you, seeing you like that, it was...Fuck...I feel so fucking guilty for not seeing it was more than a few bad dreams, I should have known, look at me, I should know the signs of something like that happening?" Ian says sighing.   
"How? Because you have bi-polar, you suddenly have magical powers and know when something isn't right? Yeah okay, I was being extra clingly, but i kind of have been since I got out, after not being near you for that long, and being cooped up in the house for that long, Fuck, I thought I was just going stir-crazy, walls closing in and shit, but you know, obviously i was just going crazy."

"You aren't crazy, you just need to work through shit mickey, it helps you know? The therapy shit? We were born into a bullshit life, eventually that shit will break you. Eventually. But look at us, we're quite the match huh? I'm bipolar and you had a panic attack. Fuck if we don't belong together." Ian says.   
Mickey smiles at that because the look Ian is giving him right now isn't what he expected. The look isnt anything but that of love and a little concern, and he loves him for it.   
"Any news on when they might let you out of here?" Ian asks and Mickey shakes his head a little.   
"Nah, Doc says she wants to talk some more, blah blah blah, and wants to discuss some more options on out patient therapy if I'm up for it. Ya know, she's not so bad, kind of reminds me of Serenity. She umm, thinks I need to talk to Terry though, like the fuck for? Tell him to go fuck himself I suppose, she says I need to do it someday, even if it's long after he's dead and I just yell it at his grave or some shit, says is freeing or some shit. I dont know." Mickey seems to ponder the thought of himself telling his father off. and that makes them both smile.

They sit and talk about Mickey's sessions and what his doctor has told him about himself, or really what he has figured out on his own, Ian tells him about his experiences with therapy and then fills him in on everything on the outside of these walls. Work, and Serenity, and mandy and Yevgeny. and He also throws in reassurance that Terry is still locked up just for measure and by the time Ian leaves, or rather, the nurses make him leave, Ian and Mickey are now sitting next to eachother on the bed, half holding eachother as they talk. The uncomfortableness of it all has slipped away and they would both love if they could both stay here and lay next to eachother for days, but Ian had to leave, he placed a small kiss on Mickey;s forehead and left as he was told.   
The days and weeks passed and Mickey waiting for the word that he could escape this hellhole because even though it really wasn't that bad, it wasn't home and it wasn't Ian. and he wanted to lie in Ian'sn arms. he would agree to any amount of therapy as long as it got him home to Ian. Wherever that home was, he didn't care.   
\--   
"Hey...." Ian says into the video. "Hear your getting busted out in about a week." Ian laughs.   
"Yeah, better be by a tall, red-headed greek-god like man." Mickey laughs.   
"I don't know about Greek-god. But I'm all you're getting." Ian laughs.   
"Hmm. Exactly what I'm saying. No clothing rule for atleast 24 hours." Mickey says smiling brightly and Ian chuckles.   
"I think I can get behind that." Ian says.   
"I prefer you Behind me, or in front of me, or In me, really anywhere that involves you touching me." Mickey smiles.

"Feeling better I see. anyway, there is something I wanted to tell you. I moved out of Serenity's" He says silently and Mickey pouts.   
"Why?" He asks.

"Just needed a space of my own I guess. I don't know. That place is too fucking big." Ian says.

"And what am I supposed to do, with you so far away...Naked rule remember." Mickey says.

"I was...Hoping, shit. Maybe? You'd come with me. before you say anything, give it a few days, if you don't like the new place, you can stay wherever you want."   
"Seriously, you think that once i get you alone, that I'm ever leaving your ass. Not likely." Mickey says.   
\--   
Soon enough, the day was there, Mickey was getting released, he would still continue therapy, he had agreed to it and he was pretty sure that Ian would drag his ass there if he decided to back out. He would no longer be on house arrest and he didn't have to go back to jail. He was still on probation though, and he had to get a job and behave himself and all that shit, so there was that. But here he was walking out arm in arm with a very sexy boyfriend, and that was okay.   
When they pulled up the building, he smiled. It was an apartment building, not too shabby for southside, but he deffinetly felt more at home here than he did in Serenity's McMansion. This was the kind of place he could walk outside of and not feel like everyone was staring at him thinking he was a charity case or coming to rob everyone for all their shit. Granted, there was a time…but that time was over. And he just wanted to live and be fucking happy so he didn't fight when Ian grabbed his hand and lead him to their apartment which was of course filled with people, because who doesn't want a welcome home party?

Well Mickey didn't, not this kind anyway, he wanted a naked sweaty welcome home party with Ian but he would wait because Ian looked happy and that's all he ever really wanted right? So he smiled at his friends, and family and he actually appreciated it all.

“Um..I want to say something. Before you all take off, I just wanted…fuck I suck at this but thank you. I fell apart and you all came running. For me. And that is something I never…fucking thank you.” He says. And Fiona looks up and walks to Mickey and grabs his face.

“You…Milkovich are family. Fuck it. You and Ian aside. You have been in our lives off and on for a long ass time now, so, you are family okay? And we take care of our family.” She says and Mickey nods and he actually believes her. He doesn't really know why he does, but he does.

\--

“They're gone…” Ian whispers as he shuts the door.

“Thank fucking Christ.” Mickey says smiling at Ian.

“I believe we discussed 24 hours of nudity, I would like to negotiate” Ian says smirking, his arms rest of at the bottom of his shirt.

“You don't want to be naked? Alright.” Mickey says taking his shirt off. “But that ain't stopping me.”   
“Nah. My offer was an extension. I believe it's only fair since…we were interrupted.” And when Ian Beams it doesn't matter that Mickey has to go to therapy and work through shit he doesn't even want to think about, because Ian got better for him, he tried for him and that's what he's going to do for Ian. He's going to be better for that man.

“So…72 hours. No clothes…no leaving the apartment.” Mickey offers.

“Counter. Underwear only, and only to answer the door, when I order takeout.” Ian says and Mickey laughs.

“I can work with that. 72 hours. Me and you.”

“Damn straight. Get ready baby.”

And they wrap their arms around eachother, and start kissing, kissing. In a way that isn't just two men in life but two people who need eachother, and sometimes a little more than what's healthy, but it was them, two men who met when they were merely messed up kids and who had grown into messed up adults but here they were and it would be okay because they had this and this is something that people everywhere search for and they were lucky enough to find it.

Ian pulled his own shirt off and ran his eyes down mickeys body and smiled. “We could do couples therapy too ya know? Doesn't always have to be separate.” And mickeybatares at him for a second contemplating.

“Hey Ian, can we talk about therapy shit, after we've fucked atleast three times? I'm way too fucking horny right now to talk about therapy and feelings and shit.” He says.

“Alright.” Ian says grabbing Mickey roughly and kissing him deeply. “Three times. Like three wishes? Ian Gallagher at your service.” Ian says

“Fucking dork.” Mickey laughs and pulls Ian roughly towards their new bedroom.

 


	16. 72 hours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian and Mickey get some overdue alone time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning....Some sexy time. Which I haven't really done in this fic, so here ya go.

Chapter 16: 72 hours

Ian wrapped his arms around Mickey and held him close, just for a minute breathing him in. Mickey was home, and it felt so good to be able to hold him.

  
There they were, two men who were so much in love that the past didn't touch them in this moment. They could deal with the shit later. They just wanted to get lost in eachother right now and lost they would get. This wasn't about tearing each others clothes off, that would come later, this was about having the time to enjoy eachother. 

So Ian ran his hands up mickeys arms and smiled at him. Not needing to voice what he wanted right now. Mickey just smiled back at him, because he knew and he wanted it to. So they slowly took each other in, running their fingers over each other's bodies, slowly almost painfully so. Ian pulled the fabric of mickeys shirt into his hands and slowly and deliberately removed it as if he was in slow motion. Running his eyes down mickeys torso. Mickey smirked as he pulled Ians own shirt off and he stared at his boyfriend sucking in a breath.

  
“Need you so much right now.” He whispers out.

Ian doesn't speak at first he just continues his little game of undressing Mickey, slowly and teasingly, making sure to graze mickeys growing as he removes the pants and the boxers. He then removes his own just as slowly. He runs his eyes up and down Mickeys body, taking in every single inch of him, his hard erection aching as much as mickey seems to. 

"Mmm. Missed you." Ian says as he grabs mickeys hand and leads them to their bed. Mickey lays down on the bed and Ian stands over him, both boys naked and ready for everything they both have to offer each other. 

Ian leans in for a slow and tantalizing kiss, running his tongue across the lips of his lover until he is granted access and pulls the bottom lip into his mouth, biting down lightly, wrapping himself up in the man below him. He moves his mouth away from his panting lover and trails light kisses along Mickey's jawline, and then down his neck, stopping to bite down, and suck and torture his boyfriend. Finally kissing down his chest, leaving bite marks in his wake.   
Mickey sucks in a breath watching Ian work his way down his body, making him moan at every touch, it's too much. This slow shit was turning him on, but he was aching for Ian, he needed him in every sense of the word, and just as he was about to voice this, between moans of pleasure, he lets out a scream as Ian finally places his lips onto mickey's cock. Licking around the tip for a minute slowly, and taking him into his mouth.   
Ian smiles as he hears Mickey's moans getting louder and more intense. it's perfect, no matter the bullshit, there would never be a time when this was anything but perfection, from the first touch until the very last. Ian bobs his head while he reaches to stroke his boyfriend at the same time that he sucks on the deliciously amazing cock of his lover.

Moans fill the apartment, followed by a groan of frusteration when Ian pulls back, releasing his mouth from Mickey and crawling back up to face Mickey. A bright and playful smile stretches across Ian's face. and he latches his lips and teeth to mickey's neck, sucking hard. "Come on Man. Need you." Mickey moans out and Ian chuckles a little. 

"Oh, You'll have me, and I'll have you, every inch of you, patience..my love."

"Oh fuck that, come on, been waiting for you, so long, come on..." Mickey whines and Ian chuckles, and leans down, back to work on his neck. he reaches down and strokes mickey for a second, reaching for the lube. 

"Want me to get you ready for me now baby?" Ian asks and Mickey nods furiously. 

"Yes...Yes...Please." Mickey begs. Ian groans out at the begging. Fucking sexy. And he reaches down to caress the lower half of his boyfriend, placing his index finger against the sweet spot of mickeys hole. He doesn't slip it in just yet, he teases for a minute before finally letting his finger enter his boyfriends ass. I'm and out for a minute until Micky is begging harder, his breaths becoming labored. A second finger and then a third is placed in and he rocks his fingers, stretching them out, to work Mickey open for him, he, himself pants in anticipation. Anticipation of being inside Mickey once again, where he belongs.   
Ian peppers Mickey with kisses on his neck and his face before finally clamping his lips down against his and with every single ounce of love and affection he has for the other man, lets it all out in those kisses before pulling back, looking down at his man intensely. “I love you.” He whispers as he finally positions himself perfectly to push himself into Mickey, who is awaiting him with anticipation. The second he starts to slowly invade himself in Mickey, they both moan out, loudly and completely.

Ian moves slowly at first, just taking in the feeling of Mickey surrounding him. When he bottoms out he lets out a deep satisfied moan. “Feels so…” He moans out

“Amazing.” Mickey finishes his sentence for him. “Please move now. I need you Ian.” Mickey says pleading and Ian smiles and does what he's told, pulling himself out slowly while looking into mickeys eyes. A look that screams of love and passion and a warning? He then quickly pounds back in, and Mickey let's put a Yelp in surprise but a huge grin breaks out on his face. And he knows that this isn't going to be just making love, it will be but it's going to be rough too, just the way he likes out of Ian. A perfect mix of when they were just fucking and the times where they made tender love to eachother, a perfect mix.

Ian slams into Mickey again, his face brightening as he hears the illicit sounds of the man under him. The cursing, the sweet moans. everything is fucking perfect and that is more than enough of what he needs to hear from the man. He moves in and out of his boyfriend at a rapid rate, breathing heavily, taking the most energy he can muster up to to do so, and then he starts to slow down, rocking his hips just the way mickey likes and he keeps slowing down until he is sure he can lean in and kiss mickey. Mickey, as if he already knows what Ian wants, what he needs from him, leans up to press their lips together.   
Mickey takes the opportunity to wrap his arms around Ian and move slowly, as to not hurt either one of them by the shift in positions and pushes Ian back into a sitting position, Mickeys legs wrapped around him, and he looks at his boyfriend and smirks playfully for a minute and this time he is the one that moves. Ian is half laying back, his arms holding him up as mickey rolls his hips and bounces on top of him, moving perfectly in sync with what Ian needs from him and it is the absolute perfect moment in the entire world.

Mickey continues his motions, moaning himself, as the sounds of Ian Gallagher fill the room. Sounds that he had been missing, oh so much as of late. The sounds of the man he loves, the man he has loved since he was sure that love didn't actually exsist and that, that feeling, as pure as the impending orgasm he was edging to. The orgasm was nothing without this feeling and he knew that, he knew that nothing was compared to coming undone with this man he was with right now and that was...Satisfying.   
Mickey was starting to lose himself, he felt it approaching as he and his boyfriend kept moving with each other quickly and powerfully, he whined out in protest when Ian grabbed his hips to stop him from moving. He looked down at him, pouting.."Ian..." and Ian laughs a little and shakes his head.

"Calm down baby, I got you." Ian says and he smiles and then, he grabs mickey around the waist and Mickey isnt quite sure how he does it but he manages to pull them both off the bed, standing, still inside of mickey. For a second mickey lets himself wonder how the hell that happened but his thoughts are interrupted by Ian who is now holding mickey up, and he moans out as ian takes all of his force and lifts mickey and brings him back down onto him.

"Oh my god." mickey screams out and Ian pants, and does it a few more times before he lays mickey back down on the bed, but close to the edge so that ian can still stand at the edge of it and he starts to furiously pound into Mickey again, The thoughts in both of their heads seem to escape and the room becomes a panting, screaming, moaning outcry, and all that could be heard  were the screams and cries of these two men. 

"So Close..."Ian pants out, to let his partner know. and Mickey doesn't speak he just nods for a minute, panting loudly. 

"Kiss me..", Mickey finally lets out. "I want to come with your lips on mine." and Ian tilts his head a little looking at him, a little shocked but he agrees quickly and moves them so that they are in a position to make Mickey's request possible. and there in that moment, they are kissing, and fucking, and they are both moving quickly as much as they can, begging for it, knowing they are so close to cumming. 

Ian collapses, still inside of mickey. "Holy shit...I missed you." He says kissing his boyfriends head as they wrap themselves around each other, after a minute, Ian pulls out and mickey lets out a little whine. He doesn't mean to, it just sort of happens and Ian chuckles.   
\--   
Ian stretched out on the bed a little and smiled at mickey. who was now entranced in the television in front of the bed? "Hey, whatcha starin at?" Mickey asks smiling at Ian.   
"You. You seem lighter, better." He says.   
"Well,  post-orgasm haze will do that to ya. Come here." Mickey says looking away from the tv and bringing himself closer to Ian on the bed. 

"Not what I meant, I meant in general mick." 

"Mhm. Just cuz your here, I'm sure. now. We have....60 plus hours to ourselves. What shall we do with it." Mickey says wiggling his eyebrows. 

"Sleeepppp." Ian says. 

"For 60 hours? That's boring." 

"How about for 6-8 hours. That good for you babe?" Ian asks and Mickey chuckles. 

"If we must."   
\--

The sleep was restless for Ian. He kept waking up every now and then to make sure Mickey was okay. To make sure he was with him and that he wasn't having a nightmare. Mickey stored in his sleep, and muttered a few words but he didn't shoot up out of his sleep screaming which Ian saw as a good sign, but he couldn't get the images of that night out of his head. He hadn't told Mickey that, that he had been having his own nightmares since they took Mickey to the hospital and all of them centered on the lost look on mickeys face that night. He had failed Mickey so many times and seeing Mickey screaming for him in a panic like that only reminded him that he had failed over and over again.

When Mickey wakes up in the early morning hours, he notices Ian is sitting on the far edge of the room, staring out the window. He contemplates closing his eyes again. It is way too early for him to be a awake but the sight of Ian looking out the window, looking slightly troubled by whatever the thoughts were inside his head, makes Mickey sit up and wipe the sleep out of his eyes. He watches for a minute and hears the light sigh escape Ians lips as he writes in a notebook in his hands. Mickey wonders how he can do that with it still being dark outside. Finally he gets up and walks slowly over to Ian. “What's that?” He asks and Ian jumps.

“Shit, Mickey. You scared the hell out of me.” Ian says catching his breath and looking over at Mickey who just tilts his head towards the notebook but doesn't look down at it. Whatever his boyfri web is writing, is obviously private and as much as he wants to know, he doesn't want to be that guy. "Oh, therapy stuff." Ian says lightly shutting the book. 

  
"Oh? You don't have to stop, I didn't read it." Mickey says, wanting Ian to know he wouldn't do that to him. 

"Yeah, I know. It's...Um, when I get restless, I'm supposed to write it down. I must have stacks of these things in a box somewhere. I think, probably a little bit everywhere, some at Fiona's and some at mandy's somewhere. I don't even know how many of them i brought here with me." Ian says thoughtfully. 

"Oh. So you wake up in the middle of the night to write a lot? Like at Serenity's? I never noticed." Mickey says, trying to think about it harder. Wondering if there were more things that Ian did, that he hadn't noticed since he got out of jail.

"Not alot. no. I used to write a lot..I haven't been hiding it or anything like that." He says a little worried.

"I didn't think that. I was just wondering why I hadn't noticed. Had I been that wrapped up my shit, that i didn't notice it?" He asks. 

"No. not at all. I guess I got lost in our bubble, that I didn't feel much of a need to write for a while. I'm happy a great majority of the time, why write about that boring shit." Ian jokes and Mickey shakes his head.

"You want to talk about what's wrong then? Why you needed to write tonight?" He asks. "I'm home, we're okay...Right?" He asks.

"Of fucking course we are Mick. I love you. You make everything in this fucked up world seem a little brighter. and don't make fun of me for saying that." Ian says before Mickey can make a joke. "I just worry, it's stupid, but I wonder sometimes how I missed it. How serious this was? the nightmares and shit, I liked that you need me at first, and i feel like an asshole for that because you needed me to see the signs, you needed me and I...didn't see it." Ian says. 

  
"I didn't either, not really. and besides, shouldn't that make us even or some shit?" Mickey asks.

"even?" Ian asks, confused. 

"When you got sick, I didn't know. For months, you were different, from the second I found you, in that damn club, you were still Ian, but you weren't, not completly and I should have known, right? I loved you, even then, and I knew you, I was so happy that you were back and talking to me, that you didn't hate me after I got married, that I didn't open my eyes to the fact that my ian wouldn't have done so many things that you were doing. So, you didn't notice that some nightmares were more than what I said they were, that doesn't compare to what I ignored for a long time." Mickey says sadly.

"oh mick. How could you have possibly have known? You didn't even know what bi-polar was...nobody noticed. not even the people around me that had seen the shit before. I was in denial, and you were there, always there when i needed you. Even if I didn't know why. This joint therapy shit, isn't gonna break us right?" Ian asks.

"Why would it break us? being honest with eachother, we already do that mostly right? I love you, unless you tell me that you don't love me anymore, or that you've cheated on me really recently, why would I ever let you go again?" Mickey says.

"I haven't cheated." Ian laughs but then frowns. "Not since I was manic, before, you know, before the meds." he says. "I havent been with anyone but you since you got out."

"Good. Then we'll be fine. it might be fucked up for a while. dealing with shit. But we got this, yeah? If I can survive Terry, and you can survive Monica, we sure the fuck can survive eachother, yeah?" and Ian nods. He sure the fuck hopes so.

"Come back to bed ian. I'll do that thing you like, that makes you sleep like a baby." Mickey smirks.

"Mmm, The sex thing I like? or the cuddling thing?" he asks.

"I was thinking we could do both." Mickey says. and Ian laughs but goes to climb back into bed with his boyfriend.

"I like that plan." Ian says smiling before he leans in and kisses mickey. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah, four chapters left. :) Can't believe it.


	17. Therapy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey and Ian go to therapy separately and then together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for being patient with me. This took me so long to write.

Chapter 17: Therapy Sessions

  
"Hello Ian." Dr.Chandler says.  
"hey." He says sitting down on the couch across from her.  
"How have you been?" She asks formally.  
"Good. I mean. mostly, amazing. you know. Mickey's home and everything, so yeah." He says.  
"Oh, thats good. keeping up with his therapy?" She asks  
"Mhm. yeah. Supposed to do a joint session, i think. you know. Listen to what he has to say." He comments.  
"Oh that's good, for him I'm sure. did you ever think about doing that here?" She asks.  
"No, I guess not. That would be pointless, wouldn't it? Having two joint sessions?"  
"That depends ian, his sessions are about him and what he is dealing with. It could be productive, to do the same with yourself. Just something to think about. Maybe after you see how it goes with his session." She says and he nods.  
"Who know's maybe there will be time to talk about, whatever's on your mind, during his. You might not need it. Our sessions aren't as often as Mickey's, I'm sure. You've been at this for a little bit longer huh?" she says. and he laughs.  
"yeah, I've been crazy a long time." he says and she glares at him a little. "Sorry, sorry. I know, not crazy. Bi-polar."

"Okay, enought about that. The usuaal huh. You talk, I listen, seems to work pretty well for us." and she smiles brightly, because she's right. It works, to just talk with no interruptions, feeling like he is the center of everything, instead of being just stuck in the middle.

So he starts the usual way. He talks about his family, boring details, it's what he does, he starts by acting like he's catching up with an old friend, and he supposes in some way he might be. It feels like that sometimes, that's why he likes this doctor more than all the others.

"and Mickey being back. It's amazing, but I worry. It's weird to worry." he says.  
"How so?" she asks writing in her stupid notebook. He always hated that notebook.  
"I'm the one people worry about. Constantly. I mean not always, but since I got sick. it's always Ian are you okay, are you taking your meds, are you doing this, are you doing that, blah fucking blah, and now, I find myself wanting to ask stupid questions like that, wanting to make sure he's okay. Makes me feel like an ass for ever shutting him out when I got sick, because this helpless fucking feeling, it sucks. seriously, and I did that to him, I made him feel this."

"Did you tell him that?" she asks.  
"No, I mean. I told my family i was sorry for it, you know, acting the way I did, but Mickey, what am i supposed to say. I'm sorry I left you, because you cared too damn much. We talked about the past so much when we got back together, after he got out, after I was released. and we yelled and cried, and made up and made love, and we were good and then BAM, I keep seeing it, I dream about it. Him on the lawn crying out for me. I should have been there. Fuck." He says shaking his head a little.

“I understand. You thought everything was fine, and it wasn't, not inside Mickey anyway, and that's a lot to deal with. I'm gonna stop for a minute. Take a breath Ian. You need that sometimes. Talk to me about something. A memory. Maybe your childhood. This feeling you have, it's not the first time we've talked about you feeling like you weren't there for someone. I want to talk about that a little before we go back to Mickey.” She says and he nods.

“You mean, my mother.” He says.

“You haven't talked about her in a while.” She observes.

“Yeah. Haven't thought of her much. Ya know? I've been consumed for so long, with regrets. She's a part of that but mostly Mickey. You know when o was younger, I wondered what it was like for her sometimes. Kind of ironic that I found out first hand, what living with her disease was like. I don't think any of the others wondered, they were just angry, and I was, still am, but I always wondered. How could someone leave the people they love, or claim to, how they could go from this one extreme to another and until it was me I never understood. I understand that now, but I'm still angry. At her, at me. I understand monica Gallagher, and no matter how long time passes, that still pisses me off.”  
\--

Mickey walks into his therapist office and sits in the chair in the waiting room, tapping his foot against the floor. He wants to leave, run out, hide somewhere. After all watching Ian after his last session was enough to make him never want to put himself through this shit. Sure he had before, especially when he was in the hospital but that was different, it was all different. Therapy took a lot out of the mind and in turn the body, When Ian had come up earlier in the week, we looked worn down, he was quiet and Mickey had let him be because unlike before, years ago when ian was diagnosed, he now understood what it was like to be stuck in your own head, and just needing to be there. So he let him, let let him think and let him just be.

  
Now it was time to turn the tables and he wondered how Ian would deal with that. Ian had been the sick one for so long, Mickey still wondered how he was handling the reverse, and that was the biggest reason he had agreed to the joint therapy session that would be happening soon, because he really wanted to beable to sit and talk about everything with his boyfriend, and he could, he knew he should beable to just do it, sit down and spill it all out but he thought maybe this way it would create something else, someone else in the room to tell them if they were being rediculous or whatever. It was stupid, they never needed anyone else before, they were Mickey and Ian, they had gotten past so much shit and it wasn't like they were falling apart, they were good, so good in fact that Mickey just wanted to keep it that way. And if that meant that talking to his therapist with Ian sitting next to him was something he should do, then fuck it, he would do it. for Ian. Because losing Ian again, was not a fucking option he was willing to ever consider.

Finally his name is called and he gets up, looks back at the door, still contemplating running, but he goes to the door and walks in, his doctor looking up at him, smiling slightly and motioning for him to have a seat, he doesn't at first, because fuck this shit. Who wants to talk about their damn feelings anyway? hadn't he done enough of that as of late, when would it end.

\--

“Let's talk about your family.” Dr.Michalson says to him.

“Okay…” He starts, tells her about his siblings and he even mentions the gallaghers because in a way they are family.

“And your parents?”

“Moms dead, dad can rot in hell.” He says crossing his arms.

“Tell me about your father.”

“No thanks.”

“Mickey…we talked about this.”

“Yeah yeah. But you said I didn't have to right?” He says and she nods.  
“Of course you don't. I just figured it would be easier to talk to me before we get into it next week. You can still refuse. Every time but I will ask every time. You know that.” And he nods.

\--

“Terry was a piece of shit, he still is. I grew up in that house of horrors, and I don't think I fully realized, exactly what I was growing up in. I see it now. I mean, I have a son now, and I would never hurt him that way. I've never even considered it, hurting him because who doesn't that to his children? How could a father…fucking prick.” He breathes in as he speaks

“When I first started seeing Ian I told him that Terry would kill me if he found out. And I knew he would.” He stated and she looks at him.

“How did you know that?” She asks as a way of urging him on.

“Because I rememver, still remember. He had this friend, best-friend I gues when I was a kid. They were like brothers. Terry was calm when he was around, almost like he wasn't a sadistic bastard. That was until he found out. Found out that his friend…Adam. was it? I think so yeah. His friend was gay, hit it well for years. Nobody knew, especially not Terry. When Terry found out, he attacked him. He killed Adams boyfriend, not that there's proof or anything but I remember being out in those woods. I didn't know why he picked me to be there, I get it now. Even then, he knew what I was going to be. He knew that he had to scare the shit out of me, and he did.”

“In your nightmares, you're in the woods, trying to save Ian from Terry. Are the woods in the dream and the ones from your memory anything alike?”

And Mickey closes his eyes to see them memory. And it's there, the darkness, the screams, the same helpless feeling and he knows, so he nods.

“He hurt Adam pretty bad, hittin him over and over again, but the boyfriend, I remember the lifeless body. But then it was gone. I don't know. Maybe I blacked out? Maybe. I did have bruses the next day. Terry said I fell down but I knew better. I knew that t was my punishment for being like Adam. "  
"How old were you when this happpened Mickey?"

"Seven maybe Eight."  
\--

Ian looked up when Mickey came in the door. He didn't say anything because he knew. He knew that Mickey didn't need him to rush to him, he didn't need him to confort him yet, this is how it went. Therapy took every bit of energy out of you that you could muster up, and he knew that he just had to wait. So he looked up and smiled a little to let Mickey know he was there. and mickey huffed and little and looked at Ian sadly.

"I'm...I want to lay down.." Mickey says and Ian nods.  
"Okay. You want me to come in there, or do you want to be alone?" Ian asks already knowning the answer.  
"Would you be offended if I said alone?" Mickey asks.

"No. Whatever you need. Go lay down, I'll come get you when dinner is ready." Ian says. It wasn't that it didn't hurt that Mickey didn't want him, it did, but he understood it, because he felt like that sometimes too. Just needing to breathe on his own.

"Okay." Mickey says and Ian expects him to just walk in the other room but he doesnt, he walks over and leans down and places his hand on Ian's chin and lifts it to look at him and gives him a light kiss. and Ian brightens instantly. Mickey had that affect on him. "Thank you." Mickey says.

"For what?" Ian asks curiously.

"For being you. For understanding." Mickey says before he walks back into the room and lays down. Ian doesn't go in there, as much as he wants to, he stares at the door, and wonders if this is what mickey does when he's like this? Does Mickey worry like this, and it runs through his mind, wondering about every look, and every touch that Mickey has ever given him, he wonders more than anything, how Mickey felt through all of it. and he sighs before finally getting up an hour later to make dinner, hoping mickey would be okay.

\---  
Ian peaks in the door after dinner is done and looks over at the bed. Mickey is sitting up, and he looks like he's wiping sleep from his eyes as if maybe he's just woken up from a nap. “Hey,” Ian says lightly. And Mickey smiles a light smile in greeting. “Dinners ready.” He says.

“Mmmkay,” Mickey says and Ian turns to go back out to give mickey how much ever time he needs right now. “Hey, come here.” Mickey stays stopping him.  
Ian walks closer to Mickey, the question is on his face. He's trying to handle this exactly like Mickey always does because Mickey always knows, never has to ask what Ian needs, he just knows. Mickey holds out his hand and Ian places his in his and Mickey smirks before pulling Ian down on top of him. And he laughs a little and the sound is music to ians ears. And Mickey kisses Ian again and pulls him closer.

“What are we going to do next week. Therapy wears us both down, we gonna just sit in the corner and stare at each other until we feel like taking again?” Mickey asks the question but Ian had considered the same thing.  
“Hmm. Maybe. We can order in dinner, and other than that we'll see. If we feel like quiet, we could just lay here and not talk. Hold each other or not. It's going to be draining I know. But we can do this. We can be better. Do you want to talk about today? Or just be quiet?” Ian asks.

“You know, you think that you stuck at this because you're used to the other side of it but I think your kind of amazing at it. I'd like to tell you, but I'd like to wait until later if that's okay? We talked about Terry a bit and that's exhausting.” He says and Ian nods.  
\--  
It's hours after dinner when Mickey and Ian are settled in bed that Mickey brings it up. Ian doesn't because he already asked once and he knows how annoying it can be. “The dreams about you…from before…they were kind of memories.” He says softly.

“Memories?” And Mickey nods. “I don't understand. I've never been with terry in the woods, pretty sure I'm not dead, because I would be if that fucker got me to the woods.” And it's not a joke and Ian knows that but he's dead serious.

“Not you, I mean the dreams of you but the woods and the…fag bashing, it was the same kind of. It's different in the dreams. In the dreams I'm calling out for you but um, when I was a kid, there was a guy. A boyfriend of Terry's friend…he um…” And Ian seems to understand.

“Oh. Terry had a gay friend? Seriously? Fuck.” And Mickey nods.

“Okay. I don't want to talk about that any more. Maybe in therapy. I don't know. The doc thinks I need to tell Terry. Talk to him, yell at him, tell him to rot in hell. Something like that.”

“Oh? That isn't exactly smart though right? What if he gets out?” Ian asks and Mickey nods.

“I told her that. Says that even if it's years from now, when he's dead or dying that it could help me. She said I could write a letter too, and not send it, just get it out. I don't know. Just wanted you to know. She might mention it next week.”

“Okay. Um, speaking of. My doctor mentioned us doing a joint session, with her, someday if you'd be interested.” He says looking away a little bit.

“She feel left out? We could just invite her to mine and have a party?” Mickey says.

“Nah. I thought the same thing. Says this session is more about you and your recovery and she thinks it would be good for you to hear my shit or something, not like you don't know it already. I don't know. Thought I'd mention it. Sounds repetitive to me. But who knows.”

“Maybe we should talk to our doctors about joining together for sessions. Nobody gets left out.” Mickey says and Ian nods.

“Maybe.”  
\--

The next week seems to go okay. Ian notices that Mickey only wakes up once from a dream, and he himself feels stable, even Mickey comments on how well he's still doing. The week passes and then it's there, joint session and Mickey is nervous because the words Ian had said replay in his head. This session is about him and his shit, not about them together not really. They might not have much time to focus on Ian much and he wanted to do that. He decided he was going to ask his doctor what she thought of him going to ians sessions, he wanted to be there for Ian too.

\--

The office is nice, Ian notices. He waits with Mickey and is careful about his actions. He doesn't want to freak Mickey out and it's a rare feeling now because Mickey isn't the same closeted thug he met when they were kids but he's still Mickey and this is therapy so he wants Mickey to be comfortable. It doesn't take long before Mickey places his hand in ians and Ian looks up at him, the nervous smile he is displaying is sweet.

When they get up, Ian shakes the ladies hand and they sit down, he is surprised when Mickey starts by asking about joint sessions with Ian and his doctor, because he wants to do that for Ian like Ian is doing for him and Ian grins. The thought terrifies him, sure, in those sessions sometimes he talks about his mania and the things he's done, and while Mickey knows, hearing it like that might terrify him too. The doctor requests that they wait for that a little while h till she's sure how Mickey handles some things and they agree.

“What about one bit therapy sesh. You and his doc could have a field day with the two of us.” Mickey says and she laughs.

“I don't know about that. Why don't you give me her contact information and I'll see.” She says. “Are you boys ready for this?” She asks and they look at eachother for a minute before finally nodding. She asks Ian what he would want to know, if he could ask Mickey anything. Says it's important for Mickey to know that, even if Mickey can't tell hk. Right now and Ian stills for a second before answering.

“Anything? I guess, if one day he was willing I'd like to hear about his feelings over the years. Mick was kind of closed off when we started and through the first few years and I was, like a puppy, emotions written all over my face in sure. And if like to know about how he felt when I got sick. Back then I didn't consider anyone else but me and I guess, now that I'm more stable, I'd like to hear what that did to people, especially Mickey.” He says and Mickey is looking at him intently.

“What do you think Mickey? Is that something you would consider. Doesn't have to be today. And even if it is, we can maybe only do a little bit. Not all of it.” She asks

“Yeah okay. That's what you need? For me to tell you how I felt through it all? I mean when we started banging? I will. It's not all rainbows and sunshine. But it's not all dark and dreary either.” He says honestly. Ian nods.

“I know.”  
“Okay first. I'm going to start this session off like normal. Then I'll let Ian ask some questions, maybe talk about one of the times you can were curious about, then I'll ask Ian some things. And we'll go from there. Because it's a joint session, it's a little longer, at the end we'll discuss how we're feeling about it. And next session, Mickey I want you to let me know how the next few weeks go after, to determine if we want to do it again.” And Mickey nods at her.  
\--

“Last week we talked about your family and we ended with talking about Terry and the dreams. Anything you want to…elaborate on?” And he seems to think for a second.

“There is something but I think it falls under what Ian wants to know. So we could wait.” He says his eyes darting from his doctor to his boyfriend.

“That's okay. Go ahead. If it's in your mind. I'm here for direction. If there's ever anything you want to talk about. It's on your mind, that's important.” She says urging him to continue:  
“Okay…” Mickey turns to Ian. “So I'm gonna talk about that day, you know the day Yev was made, and it's not just my…thing, you were there too, so if you're uncomfortable, tell me okay?” And Ian nods because he wants to hear this. He wanted to hear this when it happened but Mickey wasn’t ready then.

“Go ahead.” Ian urges.

“First let me say, that when we started, or really before that you were just this, kid, annoying and I fucking wanted to smack you or punch you all the time and then we fucked and that's all it was. I know it was different for you and I hate that it wasn't for me because you are and were just amazing but I hated myself. Everytime I hated myself, and I told myself it wasn't a big deal, it was just sex, nobody had to know, nothing had to change but I was wrong. It did change, long before that day. I started to want things. Things I couldn't have. I wanted to give you everything you deserved and you deserved more than me. More than some asshole who was afraid to admit that you were more than a warm mouth, I regret it ever saying that. I found myself wanting to..kiss you and hold you and do all of that gay shit that you wanted but I wouldn't let myself, and then you stayed with me that night..” Mickey breathed or and Ian placed his hand in mickeys, to tell him it was okay.

“And it was fucking good, we were good. I got stupid and that day. When my dad…caught us, and forced me to fuck svet, I fucking hated myself more for that than I ever did for being with you because I watched you, saw it in your eyes. And I couldn't look, I couldn't feel it, because I loved you even then. Yeah, he hurt me, what happened hurt me but it hurting you, killed me, and I lashed out and I hurt you more. I'm so sorry for that. For hitting yo instead of just saying, yea I loved you.” Mickeys voice cracks a little and he blinks back some tears.

“Hey…I love you.” Ian reassures and Mickey looks up at him. “That day was horrible, because you were raped, and we lost a piece of us that day. I should of understood more, I was caught up in my broken heart. I should have been there for you.” Ian says his thumb caressing the side of mickeys.  
“What I'm hearing, is that you both have regrets about that time. Is there anything else you want to say about it?” She asks.

“One thing. If I may.” Ian says and Mickey looks over. Eyes brimming with tears. “While I wish it hadn't of happened, and that we could of gotten him any other way, that day gave us yevgeny. And as much hate and heartache that day created, it created this beautiful boy. And I can't hate that.” And Mickey nods in agreeance.  
“I love my son.” He says and the doctor nods.  
\--  
The next thirty minutes flies by. Mickey talks about his childhood a little and Ian listens, cringes sometimes, and pulls Mickey closer when he gets upset.  
“Okay. Take a breath for a minute. Ian I would like you to think about what mickeys already told you and think about what you would like to ask him. Give it a minute, this can take a lot out of anyone.” She says and Mickey nods a scoots closer to Ian, he feels safe with Ian.

“I'm ready.” Mickey says after a few minutes. And she nods at Ian.  
“Okay. I'm going to ask this and I'm not really sure, you don't have to answer. I swear.” He says. “Um, we talked about how you felt in the beginning and when it changed but that was before…I left to fuck off to the army. When did…did you know you loved me? I mean? Fuck.” Ian says.  
“You know when you left, I was a mess. I missed you so much but I let you go, and I just, I knew I needed you then, that it was more, so much more. I wouldn't have used the word love then I don’t think. But I mean I did, I think when I came out I knew. You were Iona walk out again, leave me, I couldn't fucking let that happen. I wanted to scream that I loved you but I just screamed how gay I was instead. Svet asked me then and I said I didn't know. But I knew.”

Mickey then looks over at Ian. “When did you…?” He asks and Ian smiles.  
“I knew I more than liked you from the beginning but I knew I was in love with you, completely when you saved me from that club, when you took care of me and when you came out in a room full of people. It sounds fucked up because I left, but when I was laying in that bed, unable to move and you didn't leave, I knew I couldn't live without you. I don't know how that got so fucked up.” Ian says, the tears falling down his face.

“You came back.” Mickey says.

“Because I was right then. I can't live without you.”  
“Yeah I wasn't so if so hot either.” Mickey chuckles a little.

They continue to talk and break down occasionally. “Tell me what it was like for you.” Ian says quietly.

“What?” Mickey asks.

“When I got sick. I never asked really and I was so…I don’t know, in denial.”

“When Fiona told me, I was too. I mean yeah you were sick but, it would pass right. I wish I would have gotten you help then. I was just so afraid they'd lock you up, and you weren't crazy damn it. I still don't think you are. I was selfish with you, I wanted you with me, where I knew you were safe. I sat in the corner of that room every night watching you until you got out of bed ya know? Just praying for you to still be in there and you were. You are. I could always tell when I look into your eyes. But right then I couldn't look into them. I was so scared. I imagine as scared as you might have been when I lost my shit on that lawn. Thinking Terry killed you.”

“I love you Mickey. I'm so sorry that I got sick on you. Did I ever say that? That I was so fucking sorry for putting you through my shit. Because I am. If I was stronger I would have let you go maybe but I'm not. I loved you too much to let you go.”  
“Fuck that. You ain't got nothing to be sorry for. You didn't make you sick. You lived through it and you're surviving it aren't you? We are.”

And that went on for a while. Two boys who if asked would probably never really admit that they broke down in that office. But they did, and they spend the last thirty minutes listening to the doctor before the time was up.  
“I would like to do this again. I think that this talk today. Was good. But if like you to both take some time to think about it. See how you feel in a few days. See how you and your doctor feel about it after your next session maybe.” She says and the boys nod.

\--

“Bed?” Mickey asks as they Enter the apartment.  
“Bed.” Ian says as they make their way into the apartment. They quietly get undressed leaving only their underwear on and crawl into bed.  
“Is it just me, or is it more difficult to know what to do now? I usually feel like staring at the wall or sleeping.” Ian says.

“And you don't now?” He asks.

“Not really. Do you?”

“No. I mean, I have no energy. But I kind of want to hold you? Forget the pain and just hold you. That okay?” Mickey says silently.  
“Fuck yes. I'd love to lay here and not let you go for a while.”  
So that's what they do, they scoot in closer facing eachother and hold eachother. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @mysticallygallavich on tumblr


	18. Moments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moments over time. Ian and mickey settle into their new lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know. I have been horrible at updating this. and It's almost over too. I swear, I'm working on it. Just had some massive writers block with this one. Everytime I opened it to write more, i would just freeze up. Who knows my brain works weird. 
> 
> Here it is. 
> 
> LOVE YOU ALL.

Chapter 18:   Moments

\--

Over the following months Ian and Mickey continued to seperately continue their therapy, Ian was only required to go once a month, for his check-up but he still went as often as Mickey did, and They had joint sessions together, with both of their doctors.  They both felt as if they were helping, and Mickey's doctor was pleased when Mickey told her that he felt closer to Ian when they had a session together instead of apart. That it was easy for him to lie down with his boyfriend and spend time just being, instead of seperating like they often did when only one of them had went. 

 

Mickey's nightmares had gotten fewer, and less terrifying. When he did have them, which was not often, he would wake up, and before he even said anything Ian would hold him tighter, Mickey didn't know how he always knew, like he sensed it even in his dreams when Mickey needed him close. They had come a long way in their time back together and were growing closer than they had ever actually been before.

 

\--

 

“Yev will be here soon." Ian says to mickey like it was something Mickey didn't already know. He knew his son was coming, it was the first time since his major freak out that Svetlana had agreed to let the boy stay the weekend and that had been months ago, but finally she noticed the change in him as well as Ian talking to her Mickey was sure but he didn't care, all that mattered was that he got to spend time with his son, and that was worth so much more than he had ever thought it would be in his life. but here he was frantically cleaning an already clean apartment and making sure everything was looking perfect for his son, and of course he tried to play it off, like Ian hadn't noticed how much mickey was freaking out.  "Mick it looks good, he will be here sooon, sit the fuck down." Ian says sternly and Mickey huffs a little but does as his boyfriend tells him to.

 

When Yev gets there it’s like all of his worries melt away, because his son doesn’t give a shit about the house he just beams excidedly at Ian and Mickey and it’s just normal.  Svet stands in the background letting them have some time before she finally goes over and kisses her son goodbye, seeming to be comfortable leaving her son with two very damaged adults. But they afterall were family and not one person in that family were anything less than a little damaged themselves, not even her.

 

(A year Later)

Time passes for the two boys and the people in their lives. It seems things are falling in place. Family and friends. But one thing is true. One thing that ian constantly reminds mickey of.  

 

“Do we have to go? Can’t we just fucking stay here man?” Mickey whines

“No fucker. You promised me a date, three months ago, and you have found a way to cancel said date, every time, tonight, we are gonna go out and be a normal fucking couple Mickey.” Ian warns in a tone that he usually reserves for Yevgeny, so mickey sighs, buttoning up his shirt. Fucking date? They’ve been together practically since they were teenagers, why the fuck did they need a date? 

 

“Because we spent half of that time hiding Mick.” Ian says practically reading Mickey’s mind.  Fucking fine. Date it is.

 

\--------

 

Mickey walked side by side next to ian as they made their way to their date. it was simple, a simple dinner, that was it.  it was no big deal. But it was, it was everything to the both of them and Mickey was nervous and kind of excited.   He didn't really know what he had to be excited for but there he was walking to a place to eat with his boyfriend and after everything he was fucking happy, so he left himself smile over at Ian.  he let himself enjoy this for a minute.  Afterall, who knew how long it would last until it all came tumbling down upon him again. 

 

They ate in silence, but it was comfortable and nice, and when they were leavinig the resturant, he glanced down at Ian's hand and then shruged before taking it in his.  Ian looked up but then smiled, and Mickey stopped him in the middle of the street and pulled him to him. 

 

"I love you Ian." He says and Ian wraps his arms around his boyfriend. 

 

"Fuck, I love you too." 

 

\-----------------------------

 

Three weeks later Mickey came barreling in the door, full of...Excitement?  Ian looked him over and raised his eyebrow.  "Did you mug someone on the way over here?" he asks.

 

"No." Mickey shakes his head and smiles brightly.

 

"Get laid?" ian asks.

 

"Seriously?  That's where you think my happy places are?  Well fuck you too." Mickey says crossing his arms.  "I know someone who doesn't plan on getting laid tonight, that's for sure.  I got a job, asshole." 

 

"What?  Really. Fuck yeah." Ian says excidedly.  "What is it?"

 

"Mechanic? Not really glorious or anything.."

 

"That's amazing."  Ian says smiling. "you didn't really mean that thing about me not getting laid right?  We have to celebrate."

 

"That the only kind of celebratin you know how to do?" Mickey smiled, he loved this with Ian. Being able to laugh and be carefree. Ian just pounces on him, kissing his neck and Mickey laughs a little bit.  Yeah he could get used to this shit.

 

"I love you, you big dork." Mickey says. and Ian practicallly giggles.

 

"I love when you fucking say that. Again." Ian says.

 

"Dork" Mickey shakes his head.

 

"Not that, try again." Ian says his arms snaking around Mickey and lifting his shirt up over his head, and kissing the back of his neck.

 

"I love you." Mickey finally says and Ian humms against his neck.  Mickey turns around and smiles. 

 

"I love you." Ian breathes out.

 

"Then show me." Mickey says and then lets out a low surprised noise when his boyfriend picks him up off the ground and carries him to the bedroom.

 

"Fuck Gallagher, Why you gotta do that shit?"

 

"we get to the bedroom faster if I carry you.  Now shut up."  Ian says and tosses Mickey down on the bed.  Mickey grunted but didn't say anything else until they were both fully naked, granted that was all of two minutes.

 

 

 

“How’s domestic life?” Mandy asks Ian as they take  walk down the street in the early morning hours. He had promised her he wouldn’t run, only walk for her sake.

 

“Fucking amazing, we’re getting there. We both have our shit, ya know? But it’s working out.” He says smiling at her and she nods.  “Shit still awkward between You and Lip?” he asks.

 

“It’s….Different. We’re talking, and I’ve only punched him in the face once, so that’s quite the accomplishment.” And he chuckles.

“I would imagine so.”  He says and wraps his arm around her. 

 

“Oh hey, did you hear about iggs big date?” she asks laughing.

 

“With who?”

 

“That one chick…Serenity’s sister in-law,  Mia. She finally broke down and said she’d go out with him, man I’ve never seen my brother so smitten.” She giggles.

 

“Oh god, that poor guy. She can be vicious from what Serenity says. That would be interesting.”

 

“Oh yeah, deffinetly will be, He better not fuck it up.”  And they both laugh again, rounding the corner to where the apartment is.

 

“Dinner tomorrow right?” he asks.

 

“Yeah. Of course.  Tell my asshole brother to make something delicious. How’s his new job?” She asks.

 

“He seems to like it, only been a couple of days but he comes home in this good fucking mood, which works in my favor so….” He wiggles his eyebrows at her.

 

“Oh gross. I do not need to hear that shit.” She says.

 

“You lived with us once, you’ve heard it literally mands. Calm your shit.” He says and she shakes her head.

 

“I’ve got to get to work. Tell the asshole that I love him and I’ll see you guys tomorrow night alright.”

 

“Will do babyface.” He says laughing as he makes his way up the stairs.

 

 

Ian is practically passed out on the couch when Mickey comes home that night, and instead of letting him sleep, because what the fuck is the fun in that, he jumps on the couch, on top of Ian, and Ian startles awake, and looks up at Mickey, all covered in car grease, and fucking sexy.  

 

“Hey.” Ian says groggily.

 

“Hey, wanna help me get clean. Think I got some on ya.” Mickey says and then he runs his hand across Ian’s face. 

 

“Oh yeah? Total accident ay?”

 

“Mhm. Completely.”   And Ian laughs and shakes his head, but who is he to say no, to that brand of sexy, so he follows him into the bathroom. But not before… “hey Mick, before you get in the shower, look at me reall quick.” He says and Mickey turns around and Ian snaps a picture of him and he smiles.

 

“the fuck was that for.”

 

“Needed a picture, of my sexy as fuck boyfriend before he gets all clean.  Love you like that. Damn.” Ian says and Mickey steps to him and pulls him in for a kiss.

 

“Oh yeah?” he asks.

 

“Fuck yeah, come on, Let’s get you clean, so I can get you dirty again.” He flirts as they make their way inside the bathroom stripping their clothes off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mysticallygallavich tumblr


	19. That thing I need to do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey has something that he needs to do. and He needs Ian to support him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my...My first Gallavich fic is almost done. weird to say that but it is. I was in love with Gallavich long before I ever decided to write for this fandom, ah. and Now I can't stop writing for them. It's like my gallavich therapy. one more chapter. but lots more fics to come and in progress for those that read my stuff. I truly adore you.

Chapter 19:   That Thing I need to Do before it’s too late. 

 

 

Mickey stared at Ian biting his lip nervously, Ian was wrapped up in some tv show on Netflix, and that worked for Mickey because he really needed to build up his courage to get the words he was about to say out of his mouth. He had talked with his therapist at length about the subject he was about to being up and he needed Ian to be okay with this. But it was a risk, all around. What if something went wrong?

 

“What is it?” Ian asks finally not looking at him as if he knew that Mickey would chicken or f he had to look in Ian's eyes right then.

 

“Huh?” Mickey tried.

 

“Come on babe. I know you, somethings up.” He says.

 

“How do you do that?” Mickey asks nervously.

 

“Because I know you, I love you, and I can fee it when there's something wrong, so tell me what it is, so I can make it better.” Ian says lovingly.

 

“I don't think you can make it better Ian. It's not something that can be fixed but it is something that I need to do and I don't know how you're gonna feel about it. It's something my therapist and I agree that I need to do.” He says.

 

“Okay…” Ian says finally turning to Mickey. His eyes soft and full of concern. “What is it?”

 

“I have to…go see…terry.” He says.

 

“What?!” Ian exclaims and Mickey braces himself.

 

“They…called. The prison. He's…dieing.”

 

“Oh? And you want to say goodbye?” Ian asks.

 

“No. Fuck him. It's just…there are things I need to say. That I need to get out. And if he's dieing….I need to…I might not have long to say them. I need to do this for me…o need you to be okay with that,” he says sadly, afraid.

 

“One condition.” Ian gets out.

 

“What?”

 

“I go with you,”

 

“What? Fuck no.”

 

“I don't have to be in there with you. I'll be outside. And I have some things I'd like to say to that man myself. But I won't…if you don't want.” He says and Mickey just smiles.

 

“I love you.” Mickey says laying against Ian's shoulder.

 

“Love you.” Ian responds.

 

 

Mickey takes a deep breath as he stares at the facility that holds his father inside. Ian is behind him but keeping his distance he knows that Mickey needs to do this on his own. He needs to get it out. But fuck if Ian didn't want to wrap Mickey up and hide him away from the world and protect him.

 

“I'll be right outside if you need me.” Ian says and Mickey nods as he keeps walking.

 

Mickey looks into his father’s eyes as he stares at him. He looks weak, and for some reason that gives Mickey comfort.

 

“What do you want? Come to see if you’re in my will.  I have news for ya kid, even if I had a will, you wouldn’t get shit.” He says growling at Mickey making this so much easier.

 

“No. Wouldn’t want a damn thing from you.  I got shit to say to you, you fucking prick, and you’re going to listen.  Wanna know why?   Because you can’t fucking move.”  And Mickey’s voice is low and angry and he sees Terry’s eyes shoot up to him, taking him in.

 

“Well, look at that, you grew some balls. I give you that. Granted it took me being locked up and close to dead. But whatever.” The man says and Mickey growls.

 

“You were, no, are a shit father. You know that?  Not just to me, the faggot son, but to every fucking one of us.” He says and Terry stares at him.

 

“I fed you, clothed you, you ungrateful shit.”

 

“No, we fed us.  We fucking took care of us, you were in and out of here, and those were the best times of our lives because we didn’t have to deal with you. When you were out, life fucking sucked. Always tiptoeing around you, hiding shit, trying to survive.”

 

“Hiding your faggotry?” He asks. “You were only afraid because you were ashamed, as you should be for taking that ginger’s dick up your ass.” Terry growls out.

 

“No.  I am not ashamed.  I am who I am. I am fucking gay. I like dick. So the fuck what?  That doesn’t make me any less of who I am.  So what I fell in love. And guess what, MY SON, loves him, that’s the only thing you ever gave me, in your fucked up bullshit, atleast you gave me my son, even if that day gives me fucking nightmares, because who the fuck does that to their kid.  He will never know, what you did…How he….I love that boy and he will never even know you exsist, you piece of shit.”  Mickey says. 

 

“Disgrace.” Is all terry says.

 

“Disgrace?  You want to hear about a disgrace?  How about a father that raises his children to hate. How about a man that raises children and only gives them criminal skills, everything thing else we know we had to learn our damn selves. Like how to work a legit fucking job, or love our family.  You want to talk about disgrace? How about the father that molests his fucking daughter!  You piece of shit, you’re lucky I didn’t know about that shit then.  Or how about the father who sexually abuses his son’s best friend. You fucking prick. I’m glad you’re dieing, I hope it’s fucking painful.  You fucking dick.” Mickey stands up.   “I hate you. You are no father of mine or anyone elses. You are a miserable old bastard, who’s real home was in here. And I’m glad you’ll die here, where you fucking belong.”  He says and walks out. 

 

He meets Ian outside the doors and Ian hugs him. “You okay?” he asks.

 

“Yes. I’m fucking great.  Let’s go home?” he asks, his eyes begging ian not to go in there.

 

“Almost. Just a few things I’d like to say to him. They said I could. I’ll be right back.” And he kisses Mickey’s forehead and walks through the doors and is lead to terry.

 

“What do you mean?  My visitor just left.” Terry is saying.

 

“Not quite. Sit down.” Ian says and the man turns to him and quirks his eyebrow.

 

“Oh great, the firetruck Faggot, came to visit too?  How the fuck did you get in?  you ain’t on my list?  In fact neither is that son of mine.” He says.

 

“We have our ways, now sit down and shut the fuck up.. Beccause I have something to say to you,, and you’re going to hear it. It’s going to echo in your dreams you sadistic fuck. And I hope you die hearing it.”

 

“Fat chance.”

 

“You are nothing. Nobody gives a damn about you.  You’re children, every last one of them, you will die soon, and nobody will give a damn. There wont even be a funeral, we will burn you and then we will throw your ashes around the gayest, gay club we can find, that way, even in death you will suffer.  You’re children will be fine without you. Better without you. And your son, who you say you hate because of what he is, who he is, he will be fucking happy, with me.  We are going to live in our apartment, and love eachother, and I’m going to help raise your grandson,  who will never know who you are are what you are, just that he has no grandfather, because you are insignificant, you are nothing. And I just needed you to know that when you are dead, we wont morn you, we will sleep like fucking babies at night, me with my arms wrapped around the man I love.  And you can’t do a damn think about it.”  Ian says and smiles at Terry who is glaring at him, and he walks back outside, lighter than he has been in a long time.

 

“You okay?” Mickey asks.

 

“Perfect.” Ian smiles and they walk out of the prison, happier and lighter than they were before they entered.

 

 

 “And how are things with Mickey?” Ian’s doctor asks him at his next appointment.

 

“Good, he seems a little nerve racked about something but we are good.” He says and she smiles brightly at him.

 

 

“Where are we going?” Ian asks.

 

“Dinner at Serenity’s” Mickey says and ian nods.  His boyfriend was acting shifty. More than usual and he wanted to know what was wrong.

 

“What’s going on Mickey? Something’s wrong.” He says.

 

“no it’s not.  It’s all fine. Come on, we’re late.”  But they weren’t late, because nobody was home and that was odd. 

 

“We…Nobody’s here?” he asks

 

“Probably out back. But first I want to…Follow me.” He says leading them upstairs and Ian eyes him.

 

“You wanna fuck right now?” he asks curiously.

“Would love to, but would you shut up for a minute and just …just shut up.” Mickey says shifting, they are now standing outside the two rooms that they had stayed in when they lived here.  “Wanted to say something to you here. Beccause this is where we got is all back. Us.” He says and Ian looks at him curiously.

 

“Me and you we have been up and down and back and forth, for what seems like forever. And we always, fucking fucked it up. Not just you, not just me, but us. But here, we started over, we became us again, the good us, not the shitty us , and It’s been fucking amazing, even after my freaking out on that front lawn, or whatever, me and you….I love you ya know?” he says and Ian nods.

 

“I love you too mickey. So much,” He says back and Mickey smiles. And then grabs his hand and leads him into the bedroom they spent the most time in, and doesn’t know what the fuck he expects, but on the matress, there are fucking rose petals. And there are candles and shit on the mantle, but more than anything, mickey’s face.

 

“You did this?” he asks mickey and Mickey smiles.

 

“yeah.” He says.

 

“But why? I mean I love it, fucking so much, but why here?  I mean you could of done this at our home.” He says .

 

“Not the same. There’s a point to all of this.  I love you so much Ian, and I want to spend my fucking life making the past seem like some small insignificant thing in the grand scheme of our lives, and that all starts here by me…asking… “ and then it happens, Mickey Milkovich on one fucking knee holding out a ring box and Ian’s sure he can’t think anymore.  “Asking you to marry me….we can even go down to the courthouse like a couple of old queens if you want, or have some big ass wedding, or fucking I don’t know, do something crazy and stupid, just say yes. And fucking marry me.” Mickey says and although the words being repeated to him from the worst thing he had ever done, there was no malice in them, mickey was saying, it was insignificant, that they weren’t those people anymore.

 

“Yes, yes, yes, yes,  that enough times, fucking yes.” Ian says and Mickey smiles getting up and pulling Ian to him and they collapse on the bed together, making out and happier than they had ever been.

 

 

Ian and Mickey walk into the backyard over an hour later and everyone has arrived and they turn to the boys and smile brightly.

 

“Celebration?” Serenity asks. And Mickey smiles.

 

“Fuck yeah it is.” Mickey answers.

 

“Yo everyone. He said yes!!! Let’s drink.” She calls out.

 

“You told her?” Ian asks.

“Of course I did, now let’s party.” He says and Ian smiles at him. He stays like that all night, even more so when Mickey pulls him close and actually starts to dance with him.

 

It was later that night as the whole family were all curled up in lawnchairs and laughing and ian and Mickey were cuddled up on the swing making out and just being that the phone rang.  Mandy answered it and waited a couple of seconds.  She took a couple of deep breaths and then looked up.

 

“Everyone hold up your glasses.   It’s truly a night of celebration.    To Terry Milkovich…” She says and everyone eyes her.  Like what the fuck.  “Thank you for giving me my wonderful siblings, and fuck you,  May you burn in hell.   Cheers,  Dad. Glad you’re dead.” She says finally and everyone stares and gasps.

 

“Did she just say?” Ian asks and Mickey nods.

 

“He’s dead Ian, he actually fucking died.” Mickey says. And  then when Mickey smiles Ian can feel the tension radiate off of him.  It’ll hit him later, there’s a part of Mickey that would be sad a little but he was good and he was fine. And they were fucking safe. And happy and engaged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mysticallygallvich (tumblr)


	20. The turn out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian and Mickey get Married.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg, it's over. The first Gallavich fic I ever started. I hope you enjoyed it. 
> 
> I'm full of fluff today, so here ya go. :)

Chapter 20:   The Turn Out

\--

 

It was a beautiful day,  it was an early fall morning when it happened.  The Sun was shining lightly in the distance, and the rushing around was apparent, but in the end it was all for one thing. Today was the day that Ian Gallagher would marry Mickey Milkovich. It had been a long time coming in the great scheme of things. It really had.  Ian had loved Mickey for as long as he could possibly remember. Since that day he had walked into that house with that tire iron. People laughed at him when he said it that way but it was true. So today, as he walked up to that building that he would finally become Mickey’s husband he let out a breath that he hadn’t been aware he had been holding. It was all surreal really. After everything they had been through, before the break up and after the recocilliation. Everything that had happened had lead him here, and he couldn’t regret any of it anymore because here it was. 

 

Fiona came up behind him and placed a hand on his shoulder and he turned to his sister who looked amazing. Her hair done up and her eyes shining with the unshed tears. “I’m so happy for you.” She said as she smiled brightly at him and he knew that she meant it. He knew. As the rest of his family all piled out of the car and made their way to him as they walked into the place where everything would change. They all looked amazing in his eyes.  Lip was smiling brightly at him, he had been smiling a lot lately, and although he never mentioned why, Ian had an inkling at what it could have to do with, but he said nothing. Today was not the day he wanted to pry into what was going on with his older brother, today was the day he would be married and that was all that mattered.    

 

Debbie smiled brightly as her and Carl both approached with their dates and were quickly followed by Liam.  He waited in his small room with his family until Serenity poked her head in.  “You ready for this red?” She asks smiling at him and the woman is glowing.  Not like, oh I’m so excited that my friends are getting married glow but that I just found out I’m pregnant glo, which she had. Last week, and he couldn’t be happier for the woman.  He nodded at her while she beamed down at him and she nodded.  “Let’s do this guys.” She says and they make their way out.

 

When he walks in and everyone takes their places he sees him.  Mickey is standing silently beside Iggy talking quietly until Serenity announces that it’s time. There is no wedding march, no Ian walking down the isle to his man, as much as he would be completely into that, mickey had refused to be a part of such things.  Mickey wanted to do it a certain way, so mickey made his way to the back off the isle and stood beside ian and they looked at eachother, took eachother in.

 

“Last ditch effort? Wanna run away?” Mickey asks and ian shakes his head. Mickey does that a lot, gives him an out every chance he gets.  Ian gets it, he’s nervous, but Ian is all in, and he has everything he will ever need right here in this moment, so as he agreed to, he holds out his hand and Mickey takes it and they walk up the isle together,  partners in life, they had agreed. If they were going to do this, nobody was walking towards eachother with loving adoring eyes, those being Mickey’s words, not his, but whatever, he walked down with his guy, to the spot where they would become husbands. Where they would let all the shit in their past go and start from here. Mickey’s idea as well.

 

“Ready?” Ian whispers to Mickey and Mickey nods as they reach their destination.

 

They sort of zone out with the guy was talking staring at eachother. This was it. This was everything that had been leading up to. They saved eachother over and over again and now here they were.

 

“Mickey…” Ian starts off his vows, while he is shaking, Mickey caresses his hand with his own to calm him down.   “Mickey, I have loved you, longer than I think I have even loved myself. You taught me how to love, how to be who I am and not be ashamed of it. You have been in my life, to show me so many things. And it hasn’t always been easy, we had a way of ripping it all to shreds so many times, but I think we finally figured it out, after all this time. I love you, I love our life together, and this, being here with you today, I promise to love you, I promise that even when I’m crazy, that I still love you through it all. I promise to take care of you, just as much as you have taken care of me, and I promise that no matter what happens, me and you, that’s all I need to pull us out of the shit.  With you I am free.” He finishes the last part, quoting mickey from a long time ago.  Mickey smiles and he sees the tears in his eyes, he sees it and it does something to him.

 

“Ian, Gallagher, Red, Firecrotch, princess, I’m sure I have forgotten some of the many things I call you. I  haven’t always been what is best for you, I know that. I was a scared little boy when you crashed into my life. Literally, but in your eyes I have always been safe. I know that. You took everything I thought I knew about myself and you changed it, you changed me. I don’t care what happens. As long as you are here, as long as you are with me for the rest of my life, it will be okay, because it has always been you. Through the tears, and there have been many, shh. Don’t tell anybody.” He says and the room laughs. “Through the hating you, and the loving you, one thing has always been true, you saved me then, and you save me know Ian. I love you so much, it’s kind of pathetic.   With you, I am free.  I always have been.”  Mickey finishes and there isn’t a dry eye in the entire place. Mickey’s crying, Ian’s crying and every single person in that room, is crying.

 

\--

 

“Dear god, all things that are holy why!!!?” Mickey says sitting next to Ian at the reception, and Ian chuckles.

 

“What happened? “ Ian asks.

 

“It’s my wedding day, I should not be subjected to our siblings banging in the closet. Im tramatised man, stop laughing.” Mickey pouts when ian can’t stop laughing.

 

“Oh god, I’m sorry baby, but that’s hilarious.” He says laughing as Mandy and Lip stumble in, obviously trying to keep themselves together  and Mickey is glaring at them. The sick fucks.

 

“Oh calm down, like they never walked in on us before, and if it was their wedding, we would be doing the same damn thing.” Ian says and Mickey shrugs.

 

“That’s different. We look fantastic naked.” Mickey laughs and Ian pulls him to him.

 

“Fuck yeah we do.  Can’t wait to get you alone.” Ian lets out kissing his husband.

 

“Why wait? They didn’t. I can just take you right now, in front of all these people. Give em a good show.” Mickey jokes.

 

“Take me huh? That’s different.” Ian says smirking.

 

“you have no idea.” Mickey says laughing.

 

\--

 

“You know we better get this show on the road before the happy couple just starts getting naked. Look at them, they can barely contain themselves.” Mia says laughing and Iggy nods at her. God that girl is beautiful.

 

“Yeah. Lets do this. Hey can I ask you something?” He asks. Not the time, but who cares.

 

“Hm?” is her response as she gets the table ready for the cake cutting.

 

“Do you like me? Like at all?” he asks and she looks over at him.

 

“You do realize we went on a date like three days ago? Did I not show you that I liked you?” she smirks at him and he shrugs.  “want me to show you again?” she smiles at him and he can feel the heat rising to his face.   “Okay fine, I’ll say it, I like you okay? Now get your shit together, we can flirt after they leave.” She says laughing.

 

 

“Miceky, the reception isn’t over.” Ian giggles as they shumble towards the car.

 

“Who cares? I need my husband to do things to me. Things that he wont do in front of our families, so fuck em.” He says and Ian laughs.

 

“Say it again.”

“What? That I want you to fuck me so hard, I can’t breathe?” Mickey asks innocently, considering what he just said, it’s amazing how he can pull out that look on his face.

 

“No you fuckhead. Calling me your husband.” Ian shakes his head. “Perv.”

 

“Husband. Oh my dear husband, will you please shut up and get in this backseat with me,” Mickey says sweetly and Ian laughs.

 

“I love you.” Ian laughs as they scramble in the car and start making out. “Husband.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mysticallygallavich on tumblr. 
> 
> OMG, Noel is coming back, my baby. lol. Yes there is a chance they could screw it all up but whatever, I get to see his beautiful face on my screen. and that my darlings is something worth everything. and it's like an early birthday present for me. So there's that.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay the first chapter was a little rough to start. I'm still trying to figure out how I can logically get Mickey out of prison at some point without it sounding too far fetched.


End file.
